VIDEO Snooki’s YouTube rap poem and philosophy of life

The life philosophy of Jersey Shore's Snooki

Not to be outdone by her abtastic rapping castmate The Situation, Jersey Shore‘s diminutive diva Snooki wrote her own rap summing up her philosophy of life and uploaded her reading to YouTube! Here’s the video followed by a real labor of love – a complete transcription!

Deep Thoughts with Snooki:

It’s your number one Guide
and I’m gonna say what I need to say instead of making yous read

My life’s like a circle I did a 360
Hard working student and now I’m a major miss me

I trusted everybody and it didn’t matter at all
Now I only have myself and my family to break my fall

I had real relationships even with guys
But yous can’t fool me now because I can see through all of your lies

I’ve always had tough skin, nothing ever phased me
But put me in the spotlight and sometimes I go crazy

And a lot of people hate not knowing who I really am
That’s fine with me ’cause then I know that you give a damn

Negative or positive it’s one in the same
It builds someone’s character and puts strength on your name

I go day by day never regretting a thing
This is my true life and I live it like a king

I can tell you now I don’t take sh!t for granted
Even if I was still a Joe Blow my life still wouldn’t be slanted

Money is an abject and it can give you a high
But at the end of the day love conquers all and then you die

I let the wind of life blow me away
I live like its my last is what I’m trying to convey

I want the world to know I am more than what you see
I’ve got a heart of gold, I’m a perfect cup of tea

So listen when I say I don’t live life like I’m bored
I always step up my game and I refuse to be ignored

Oh man! All that needs is a great beat and some autotune and you’ve got yourself a hit!

In an attempt to save myself a little time I tried out YouTube’s closed captioning feature, which uses Google voice recognition software to transcribe the audio. I don’t know if the software is just really bad or maybe it can’t comprehend the Guidoriffic lingo of our beloved Snooki, but it generated a whole bunch of hilarious and surreal gibberish with an occasional correct sentence thrown in here and there:

the Citadel and VMI
and they say they need these things
highlights of his circle yes it is
hydrogen sitting on its hands
it’s an era
yeah it may sound see any statements on
I had to be at least six people with parents
the he stands for American citizens through Ron
there isn’t a standard thing in this season the put me in the side
his sons single season
she’s playing
I’m not going what it is
that’s fine with me
is that I know that you two years all right
Navigator President is flying the scene
it does for instance interesting to me
I heard thing I say now they regret anything
this is a nice to nice analyst budgets
thank you sir are you now Gus victory
yes I was selling chunks well when I see no ladies
money is in concert Simpson did you
but at the end of the day most countries on
and then you to linger racism formula
and I think it’s really us
is that a person I want to listen no in line families
I just kind of calls some of the effects of nicotine
some of the summary said and I think of blood
I always said that ninety an issue the nineties

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