VIDEO PHOTOS Tour of the Big Brother 13 house with Julie Chen

The July 7 premiere of the 13th season of Big Brother draws closer and closer and as it does we continue to get more an more tidbits from CBS. The latest little teaser nugget comes in the form of a guided tour of the new house by BB host Julie Chen!

(My apologies for the autoplay – I tried some various parameters in the embed code to turn it off with no success. I welcome expert advice though!)

In a couple previous posts we shared some of the official CBS photos of the house so I thought I might pair those up with a transcript of Julie Chen’s tour for you! Here ya go….

It’s lucky 13 – Season 13 for Big Brother and this is the new house. So welcome! Let me take you on a tour.

OK first of all, let me tell you this. The whole theme is Venice Beach because we love California and we’re in Los Angeles.

And we always say to expect the unexpected so this year the things you would expect to find outside you are going to find inside, and things you expect to see inside you’re going to find outside.

[The camera focuses on the numerous surfboards mounted on the wall] I feel like putting on a red bathing suit, sucking in my gut and just running down like I’m Pamela Anderson on Baywatch.

[Julie is now riding an old bicycle through the house] Oh yeah! Hello! I could see the houseguests getting a little bit drunk and doing this, and then an accident happening.

I’m hoping these Hibachis are just props because I know how these Big Brother houseguests can get and I would not want any charcoal or flames inside the living room.

What do you think of when you go to Venice Beach? Tattoos, tarot cards, palm readers… [The fortune teller says, “Welcome to the Big Brother palace. Nice to see you here today.”] Well, are you really seeing me? Because your eyeballs are going every which direction except… oh yeah! You are looking at me! [Fortune teller: **inaudible** I see all things, I know all things, I am all things.”]

So in the parlor we have built this big – I call it a conversation bed. Start strategizing. “Yeah. We gotta kick out Julie. She’s just too good at this game. I mean she’s gonna win the whole thing!” Right now, secretly I’m just thinking, “Are my hair extensions showing?”

Slop is the food that you have to eat – if you lose a food competition – for a week. It also says to the right of that in graffiti letters, “eviction,” but it says “evikshUN!”

And here we have our first bedroom, and with that brushed steel, that bent and curved – hopefully, tell me you’re thinking famed architect Frank Gehry.

This is the second bedroom, which I like to call the “Katy Perry bedroom.” It’s very “Califoria Girls,” whimsical silly, just look at the bedspread. This one is called “Real fruit flavor! Very Cherry! (Artificially flavored)” Can’t you just see Katy Perry with one of her crazy wigs, her long beautiful lashes, and some silly costume with like a blow pop? That’s what I think of.

My favorite part – ice cream anyone? Let’s see if they filled it. Oh yeah, we have a real bicycle but we don’t have real ice cream. What kind of budget is this?!? I have to talk to my executive producer.

The HOH bedroom. Voila! “Welcome. I’m Head of Household and I have a round bed this season.”

Microphones hanging from the ceiling everywhere, and this camera – see? Cameras cover every inch of this house. You have zero privacy. No private conversation. There are microphones all around you at all times. And cameras – I think it’s like 52 cameras, something crazy like that. They’re behind the walls, they’re staring at you from the wall, they’re everywhere. That’s why it’s called Big Brother – Big Brother is watching you.

Lucky 13 – I hope we have at least 13 more.

(Photos: CBS / Sonja Flemming)