VIDEO Charlie Sheen recites poem “The Big White Phone” on Sheen’s Korner UStream show

Sheen's Korner starring Charlie Sheen and airing on UStream

Charlie Sheen kicked off his new web series titled Sheen’s Korner tonight on UStream. The 45-minute show was filmed live from his Sherman Oaks, California home and featured Charlie along with a few of his posse, including Goddess Natalie Kenly, Simon “Dirty Nasty” Rex and two dudes known only as Jason and Matt.

Sheen’s Korner consisted of a number of scripted comedy bits and Charlie making light of his two-week media insane-a-thon by continually uttering his catch phrases “Winning!” “Losers!” and “Duh!” The show was disappointingly stilted with an awkward Charlie Sheen who flirted at times with the exuberant and crazy greatness from his first two infamous interviews last week, but rarely drifted into anything I would consider entertaining.

One of those few moments came at the end of the broadcast when Charlie recited the poem “The Big White Phone” (which is a toilet BTW) from his obscure book of poetry titled A Peace of My Mind. Here’s a clip of the reading followed by the poem and Charlie’s introduction in text form.

“It’s called ‘The Big White Phone.’ It’s just about everything just kind of melting down around you. Imagine that.”

In the twisted times of a running game
where flood waters raised coffins from pain
Where the worms of freedom have all gone insane
I pluck them or suck them from the heart of my brain

When the age of confusion appears in disarray
“It’s an act of illusion,” dead babies would say
When the clock’s final ticking exposes your day
It’s your balls we’ll be clipping in the dock of your bay

When leaders ring true
in the eye of the mass
Their blood turns cold blue
while the dogs eat the grass
Their painful decay
shoves a snake up your ass
The act of delay
they promise will pass

Until we find through true release
the volume of our moans
They pack our bags with sullen peace
while their children sleep alone
When these acts of truth arrive in time
Please read them high in tone
I’ll be heaving bile in viscous style
as I talk to the big white phone