Are pumpkin spice condoms a real thing? Twitter user Bennett Kulcsar caused a mildly spicy furor yesterday, when he tweeted out a picture of a Durex Pumpkin Spice Condom accompanied by a coy caption:
— IG:Bennett Kulcsar (@BennettKulcsar) September 8, 2014
And, just like that, everyone drinking a pumpkin spice latte froze, cups in the air mid-sip. For a brief moment, it seemed as if we could all add pumpkin-flavored sex to our array of pumpkin-based activities. No longer would we be limited to just coffee, beer, candles, and the occasional orange-topped donut. No: things were about to get real. Except, then Durex got wind of what was going on, and had to poke a hole in the sail:
Durex has heard that people are saying we launched a ‘Pumpkin Spice’ condom. We can’t claim this one, but we do love it when people spice up the bedroom.
Which is probably for the best. Pumpkin sex. Does that need to exist? Sex is a fairly spicy endeavor all by its lonesome little self. And pumpkins aren’t inherently spicy in the first place. Still: if you need to get your pumpkin fix someplace new, just remind yourself that pumpkin spice creame Oreos are totally a thing.
The article mentions that they don’t go on sale until September 24–shortly after the actual beginning of autumn; technically, we’re still in summer, folks–but keen eyes have reported them on shelves at Target and other big box retailers already.
(Photo credits: Pumpkin spice condoms via public domain)