Oklahoma man leaves burglar hogtied in yard because he was late for work

To steal, and slightly alter, a line from a classic country song, a husband and father who is known to us all as simply “Mr. Houston” is the reason God made Oklahoma.

The dude you see above is would-be burglar Robert Cole. Mr Cole thought it would be a good idea to try and rob the home of The Houstons in Tulsa, Oklahoma on Wednesday. He broke the glass of the family’s daughter’s bedroom with a folding chair. When the noise alerted the couple, Mr. Houston’s 9-month-pregnant wife Denay told News9 that her husband was “just like ‘Oh God.'”

They heard rustling inside their garage and that’s when Mr. Houston became my new all-time favorite viral internet story hero. Mr. Houston went to the front door of the home, waited for Mr. Cole to emerge from the garage and when the crook did, Houston bum-rushed him.

He caught Cole in his front yard and hogtied him, incapacitating the dude. Then… Then he achieved hero status as explained by his wife:

“That’s just the type of person he is, you know? That’s just the type of person he is. Business is business. ‘I got to take care of business, he’s safe, the police are coming, I got to go.'”

Yes. Mr. Houston hogtied this moron in his front yard and left him there because he had to go to work.

The wife of the coolest dude in America said that her man wasn’t into rodeo but that he did know his way around horses and a rope. A reporter asked Mrs. Houston if he had raised his arms in victory after subduing the man and her answer was pure awesomeness:

“He didn’t do that. He was just like (nods head), kind of like the head nod, like, ‘Okay, what’s done is done.'”

I’d like to dedicate the following clip of Blake Shelton (Oklahoman himself who’s nowhere near as awesome as Mr. Houston) and Miranda Lambert singing “You’re the Reason (God Made Oklahoma)” to Mr. Houston: