This is one of those articles where the headline gets it exactly right. Without further ado: A New Jersey man named Bacon has been arrested in fight over sausage.
Thomas Bacon, 19, of Madison NJ was arrested recently after attacking another person in his home. According to the Madison PD, Bacon became enraged when he found the unnamed other person in the home eating the last piece of breakfast sausage. The responding officer arrived at 3:30 in the morning, though, so it’s not clear whether the meat should be considered a breakfast food, or a midnight snack.
Bacon has been charged with simple assault, and was released on his own recognizance. A court date has not yet been set, possibly because the Madison court system is still snickering over the initial headline.
It’s worth pointing out that this is the second time in two days where stories involving fights over the last piece of meat have gone viral. Devotees will recall yesterday’s Indiana eye-stabbing over the last rib at the cookout. The “Meat Assault Trifecta” is therefore in play; keep your eyes peeled to Starcasm this weekend for a possible completion.