Dear Internet,
Tonight is Conan’s last show, and the lineup is Tom Hanks, Will Ferrell, Neil Young, and tons of surprises! Conan announced that he definitely wants to pose nude, whether we want to see that or not (we do, who doesn’t want to see a beanpole ginge nude?) He also wants to be played by Tilda Swinton in the HBO movie made about the Late Night Wars 2010.
He “spent” $65 million on a archeological rarity spraying Beluga Caviar on an original Picasso (outrageous!) and aired a bit of Tonight Show highlights:
Side note: Max Weinberg is playing the drums WITH HIS LIFE!
Conan made a plea for Haiti, then dove into his NBC exit interview with Michael Scott (Steve Carrell, same thing)!!
Exit interview choices for Conan’s experience at NBC? Positive, very positive, and extremely positive. Michael Scot uses the line from Up in the Air about empires, and gives him an exit packet. Scott wasn’t on this game, he could’ve been funnier!
Tom Hanks likes to relax with a stiff glass of cream soda every night (which is, coincidentally my signature drink). Me and Tom, we’re hardcore like that.
Awww, Neil Young was the first to call when he heard about Conan’s trouble at NBC. Very sweet. He performs “Long May You Run,” which Starcasm predicted earlier today!
Conan shows a picture of the staff, and talks seriously about NBC. He’s been at NBC for 20 years, and he thanks NBC for giving him amazing opportunities. Walking away from the Tonight show was the hardest thing he ever had to do. He doesn’t regret one second on The Tonight Show, he did it his way, with people he loves. The rallies, signs, I’m with CoCo Twitter campaigns have really overwhelmed Conan. “You made a said situation joyous and inspirational.”
Here’s the full quote:
“Yes, we have our differences right now and yes, we’re going to go our separate ways. But this company has been my home for most of my adult life. I am enormously proud of the work we have done together, and I want to thank NBC for making it all possible. Walking away from The Tonight Show is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Making this choice has been enormously difficult. This is the best job in the world, I absolutely love doing it, and I have the best staff and crew in the history of the medium. But despite this sense of loss, I really feel this should be a happy moment. Every comedian dreams of hosting The Tonight Show and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second. I’ve had more good fortune than anyone I know and if our next gig is doing a show in a 7-Eleven parking lot, we’ll find a way to make it fun.
Conan’s message: “All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism — it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”
CoCo, we love you! Don’t make us cry! I’m gonna listen to “Oh CoCo” on repeat now.
Conan goes out with a “Freebird” performance by Will Ferrell. CoCo’s playing guitar. Ferrell’s broke out the cowbell! That saves this whole routine.
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