VIDEO Jon Gosselin’s Girlfriend Hailey Glassman Interview On E!

UPDATE – October 30, 2009: Hailey Glassman has dumped Jon Gosselin

UPDATE 10/30/09 – Be sure to check out video of both Hailey Glassman appearances on The Insider HERE!

Hailey Glassman took her turn in the “he said, she said, she said” media merry-go-round by giving an exclusive interview to E! that aired this evening. In the interview, Haily tries to dispute accusations that she is desperate for fame and calls out Jon’s other other significant other Kate Major, who gave her own account of Jon’s love life in an interview with the same network last week.

CLICK HERE to see a hundred billion million photos of the fame-shy Hailey Glassman from before and after her “true love” encounter with Jon Douchelin, and HERE for photos of the other other other Gosselin gal, babysitter Stephanie Santoro. I’m sure we can expect Stephanie’s interview professing Jon’s eternal lover for her next week.

Here’s the interview in two parts:

Hailey quotes from the interview with an interpretation:

“Before all this, I was happy-go-lucky.”

(Before all this I was drunk or high all the time)

“I was never a follower. I was never a gossiper. I did my own thing. To be honest, this whole thing, I have lost my happiness through this all. I don’t want to say the public and media stripped me of my self-esteem. But they really have. I’ve been the sacrificial lamb in this situation.”

(I was forced to look in the mirror)

Referring to TLC: “More like the lying channel.”

“…no network owns what I can and cannot say.”

(Except E!)

About her relationship with Jon: “It’s very carefree and fun…We just laugh—like, our best times are when it’s just me and him.”

(His kids are not cool. I offered weed and smack to all of them and they said no no no no no no no no.”)

“We both enjoy just simple things in life.”

(Sex.)

About babysitter Stephanie Santoro: “Jon has a good heart, she has a child and he felt bad. He knows how it feels to have a child and not be able to afford, you know, so he hired her to give her a job.”

(He hired her to give him a job.)

“I don’t like to talk in the future. I like to live in the present. As of right now, I want to be happy. I want Jon to be happy. I want every side to be happy.”

(I’m trying to get a reality show deal of my own.)

“People need to realize there’s two sides to every story…TLC, they’re telling something but the truth is always in that fuzzy area. You can’t touch it, but only the people contracted can see it, but no one can say it.”

(You have to pay to see my fuzzy area and TLC has not.)

“It’s a dirty, dirty world. Bamboozling, this world. I didn’t know any of this would happen.”

(I’m a dirty, dirty girl – a Bambie boozer that really hoped this would happen.)

“If I wanted fame, don’t you think I would be out all the time? I stay in my house. I’ve been staying home with my parents because I feel safe there.”

(If I wanted fame would I be giving an exclusive interview on E!? I stay with my parents because I’m a 22-year-old pot-smoking college grad.)

“I’m not some fame wh*re. Take my 15 minutes, you can have it back. Please take it back!”

(I’m trying to get a reality show of my own.)

On whether or not her relationship with Jon contributed to Jon and Kate’s split: “Jon and Kate have moved on with their lives—it’s only the viewers who haven’t moved on.”

(People don’t like me.)

On Kate Major: “I know what Jon tells me and I know him…but she’s cuckoo, cuckoo, you know?”

(Everyone mentioned in that sentence is cuckoo.)

“I want people to know the truth. Right now I’m speaking from my heart, myself. I’m not some celebrity, I’m not some famous person—I’m just a 22-year-old girl who got caught in the middle of all this.”

(BS from a publicist’s cue card.)

Compare and contrast time! First, a couple images from artsy film footage of Hailey shot for the interview:

And then a couple of my personal favorite Hailey Glassman images, including her actual first love – a houseplant: