A woman on a mission to create a fake dating profile “so awful, so toxic, so irredeemably unlikable that no one would message her,” came to a similarly “so awful” conclusion: There are some seriously superficial folk out there!
In a newly viral post for Cracked, writer Alli Reed explained she set out to prove that it was possible to create a profile so reprehensible that no dater — no matter how desperate! — would willingly carry on a conversation. The catch was, the fake profile would bear the photos of Alli’s friend, a real-life model.
“In making this profile, I made sure my creation touched on every major facet of being truly horrible: mean, spoiled, lazy, racist, manipulative, and willfully ignorant, and I threw in a little gold digging just for funnies.”
For example, Alli included “desining (sic) a line of dog close with matching iphone cases,” “knocking cups out of homeless ppls hands” and “convincing people im pregnat” among Aaron Carter Fan’s hobbies.
Then she hit “publish,” sat back and waited… A good few minutes before the first responses poured in. She ultimately received 150 messages within the first 24 hours.
For stage two of her operation, Alli followed up with some of the suitors to ramp up her reprehensible behavior in private chats. Some gems from those conversations included her describing how she hooks men into paying for things when she pretends to be pregnant, bullying teenagers on Facebook and faking pregnancy to get out of community service. In all of those cases, the eager men responded with requests for her phone number.
“These men don’t care about her personality,” she concluded about that stage of the operation. “There is no lower limit to how deeply repulsive she can be on the inside, as long as she’s hot.”
Alli then sought to determine whether the men would still be interested if there were “clear, lasting consequences” to their meeting. So, she asked one Romeo whether she could give him a mermaid tattoo. He said yes. She asked another whether she could pull one of his teeth because “U HAVE TOO MANY TEETH.” He said she could come pull it out.
Finally, she decided to act as though Aaron Carter Fan was, in her words, “crazy-crazy.” This step involved responding non sequitur with questions about Beanie Babies and emoticons. The men continued to chat!
After such a depressingly eye-opening glimpse into the minds of some men, you could excuse Alli if some came back with a conclusion that made her sound extremely jaded. But — and I love this part — she had a positive message for those who responded to the profile: “You are better than this. I know many of you would never message AaronCarterFan, but many of you would, and a whole bunch of you did. You’re better than that. There are women and men out there who are smart, and kind, and challenging, and honest, and a lot of other really positive adjectives. You don’t want someone who will pull out your teeth and then sue you for child support; you deserve someone who will make you want to be better than you are, and will want to be better because of you.”