Countess LuAnn releases video for “Money Can’t Buy You Class”

The wait is finally over! The Real Housewives of New York City‘s Countess LuAnn de Lesseps unleashed her inner Kanye on the show this season with her debut single, “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” but up until now all we have been given are snippets of live performances, some Behind the Music glimpses into the recording process, and the finished product in audio only.

That all changes today because LuAnn’s full artistic vision has been released in the form of a Countesstastic music video! I will be quiet now and take comfort in knowing that somewhere out there Andy Cohen is shedding tears of joy with me…

Where do I begin?!? There’s a mysterious Schindler’s List lineup at the beginning from which LuAnn must choose the poorest and creepiest of the bunch whose job it will be to stroke her arm and untie her corset. (Following so far?)

After the LuAnn de LeSchindler part, the Countess moves on to a bar where she gets ogled by the same dudes and takes away their cell phones and beer before showing them which utensils go where in relation to the plate. Then an elegant Ambien-induced man-orgy on the bed followed by an apparent date. Perfect! That’s exactly what I predicted!

I’m going to remove my tongue from my cheek for a moment and say, “Kudos!” to whoever did LuAnn’s makeup! I think she is an attractive woman normally, but not only does she look 15 years younger but she looks like a completely different person! Actually, she looks like multiple completely different people!

Eva Longoria:

Sandra Bullock:

Heavy-handed makeup is a lot easier to swallow than heavy-handed autotune!

I’m working on more screen caps right now – I should have them up in 30 minutes or so, so check back!

And….. Here they are! (Click on the thumbnails for larger images in the gallery. You can scroll through the images in the gallery by clicking on “<<< Previous Image" and ">>> Next Image” icons near the bottom of the page.)

Subscribe to Starcasm by Email