The diligent reporters at Starcasm.net acquired a copy of the true crime masterpiece Cop Without A Badge: The Extraordinary Undercover Life of Kevin Maher which contains detailed observations about the early life of professional dancer and coke aficionado Beverly Merrill. Merrill is now going by the name of Danielle Staub on the newest installment of the hit Bravo Housewives franchise The Real Housewives of New Jersey and the girls have caught wind of her “interesting” past.
Here are some slightly more damning (and coherent) quotes from the book, including the “good but no morals” gem as well as numerous descriptions of Beverly and Kevin’s fairy tale romance:
The book’s description of Beverly / Danielle’s involvement with the kidnapping:
”Some rich kids kept saying he didn’t have the money. But the DD knew the father was some rick old f**k, so the DD [dealer] grabbed the kid. Beat the s**t out of him for three days. Didn’t feed him. Kept telling the kid that if his father didn’t send money, he was going to kill them . . .
‘She was there man’, Uribe said with a sigh. ‘She was there through the whole f**king thing. She was partying with the DD for a month straight.”
What Kevin Maher thinks after meeting the pantiless Beverly/Danielle in Miami:
She’s beautiful. I hope she’s not just another coke wh*re.
After a couple lines of coke and romp in the sack Kevin has a startling revelation about Beverly/Danielle:
She has no morals, but she’s a good person.
Coke-fuelled insights don’t lie and within hours Maher is “in love,” forgetting completely that at that time he is still married to a woman named Beth, who is a VP at The Economist and probably isn’t as fun and interesting as a woman who’s kidnapped a boy, takes her clothes off for money, sleeps with every man she meets that has a little spare change and snorts cocaine with a snorkel.
How Maher got Beverly / Danielle off with probation instead of prison for her kidnapping charges:
“Maher . . . bent the truth about one of the dealers.”
How Beverly / Danielle reacted to her light sentence which Maher’s helped orchestrate:
“She stared into Maher’s eyes in the dreamy way someone would regard a hero.”
Maher decides to move Beverly/Danielle away from all the coke dealers in Miami that she has sexed up in exchange for drugs, and relocate to New York. He sees this as a perfect strategy to keep her from sleeping with any more men, but immediately helps her get a stripping job at a coke dealer hang out in Queens. Maher’s jealousy rages when he finds Beverly getting some suspicious “deals” around town, including a quick promotion at work and a cut-rate apartment deal:
“You don’t become the featured dancer at Gallagher’s making six hundred a night unless you’re f****ing somebody.”
The night after Maher almost shoots up the strip joint where she works Beverly / Danielle lets him in her apartment:
“’You shouldn’t have done that, Kevin,’ she said with a smile. Beverly laughed. Maher laughed. Then they tore each other’s clothes off.”
When Maher’s wife Beth had finally had enough of all the drama and got herself and her son out of Maher’s life, Beverly slinked right in. The pair immediately started having a grand time:
“Cocaine and passion, endless weeks of delirious pleasure. Maher and Beverly floated into the charcoal days of autumn. By October, Maher had moved into Beverly’s Brooklyn apartment.
‘You know, Kevin,’ Beverly said one night, ‘I’ve been with probably a thousand guys and I’ve never felt this way about any of them.’
Maher looked at her in disbelief. A thousand guys?
Maybe it was the cocaine. Maybe Maher had just gone crazy. Whatever it was, Kevin Maher and Beverly Merrill were united in matrimony on October 20, 1988.”
Maher was still married to Beth at the time, but that was a minor detail. The chaotic fairytale romance of Beverly/Danielle and Kevin Maher continued as Beverly/Danielle attempted to best herself by sleeping with 10,000 men, Maher went on jealous rampages, and they end up in bed together. If you want to read more about the notorious Real Housewife’s exciting life with Maher, pick up a copy at Amazon.com .