Billy Joel And Katie Lee Joel To Divorce (With A Graph!)
Singer Billy Joel and singer Billy Joel’s wife are getting a divorce, according to an official statement issued by the couple’s rep. The couple married in 2004 when the Piano Man was 55 and his bride Katie Lee was a youthful 22. Mrs. Joel is now 27, which is only a few years older than when most people get tired of Billy Joel.
Here’s the complete statement released to the press:
“After nearly five years of marriage Billy Joel & Katie Lee Joel have decided to separate. This decision is a result of much thoughtful consideration. Billy & Katie remain caring friends with admiration and respect for each other.”
The separation has been rumored for some time, with published reports revealing the 60-year-old Joel was jealous of Katie’s Lee’s alleged relationship with another man. This is Billy Joel’s third marriage, and given the young age of his spouse I was concerned that we might be in for another Sharon Stone phenomenon. (In an earlier post I proved mathematically that Sharon Stone’s propensity for dating younger and younger men meant the world would end around 2019 when she began dating someone that hadn’t been born yet) But, I was surprised to find that Billy Troll’s trend poses a Hugh Hefner-esque worst-cast-scenario of an 80-year-old Joel married to a 24-year-old woman. Why, that’s downright tolerable and borderline normal for a VERY wealthy male pseudo-retired celebrity entertainer! Whew!
In case you don’t believe it, here is the indisputable math that graphs out the age discrepancies between Joel and his former wives and uses that information to project his future matrimonial excursions:
The divorce promises to be quite liberating for Katie Lee, who is now free to commit full time to her successful career not hosting Bravo’s Top Chef. Since her departure from the show after the first season, Top Chef has become one of the most popular and critically acclaimed reality competition shows on television. As a matter of fact, I would say she is the best at not hosting a show since Craig Kilborn started not hosting The Daily Show back in 1998.
(Katie Lee – you have my apologies. I don’t actually know too much about you, and just like everyone else, I didn’t get to see you hosting Top Chef. But, you did marry Billy Joel so you have to expect to be the victim of some snarky collateral damage. Don’t get too down about it. Obviously you are young, and it will only be a decade or so and people will stop referring to you as Billy Joel’s third wife.)
****UPDATE**** 6/20/09 – The New York Post is reporting that the breakup was all about age:
“It really was just an age thing,” a source close to Katie Lee Joel said yesterday of her separation. “She loves the city, she loves to go out and have fun and he prefers to stay at home.”
When Joel — who at 60 is just shy of being able to collect Social Security — isn’t on the road touring, he likes to tinker with his antique motorcycle collection at home on Long Island and sail on his yachts.
“The age difference didn’t seem to be a big deal seven years ago [when they met], but it has become one as they got older,” the source said. “They just grew apart.”
Tinkering with antique motorcycles and sailing on his yacht? I’m already yawning. Katie Lee looks like she would be much more fun to tinker with than an old motorcylce! (Of course I mean that in a completely non-sexist way. I mean tinker with her brain by talking about politics and current events and watching independent foreign films.) Maybe with the annoyingly youthful and sexy Katie Lee out of the way, Billy Joel will finally be able to complete his most recent album “Only the Good Love Toy Trains, Bird Watching and Matlock.”
Subscribe to Starcasm by Email
