After months of hype and anticipation the greatest example of reality show alchemy in the history of television finally returned to MTV last night as the lead-into-golden stars of Jersey Shore reunited in Miami.
There was immediate drama and fireworks (literally) as the cast drove down individually and in pairs from the northeast down along the coast. We were able to see what happens when you combine Pauly D, The Situation, a muddy field, spending money and a state where it’s legal to buy some SERIOUS fireworks. We were also able to see what happens when you combine JWoww, Snooki, a blinged out guidette cowboy sombrero, an empty bar, fried pickles and a horny southern dude suffering from convulsions.
Another added treat was watching Snooki adjust the driver’s seat of her Cadillac Escalade! In order for her feet to reach the pedals she had to move so far forward her fun bags were pressed against the airbag in the steering wheel!
We got to hang for a few seconds with Vinny’s family and Ronnie’s chums and even got to hear the Prodigal Guidette herself Angelina talking optimistically about being given a second chance after walking out on the show (and fame) last season.
There’s a whole lotta love and a whole lotta tension as the crew begin to arrive at their vacation home in the MIA (“That means Miami,” explains The Situation.) All the girls in the house hate the fact that Angelina is back and it’s obvious right away that she’s not going to be able to get back in their good graces with “I’m sorry.” She asks to room with Pauly D and The Situation and is the only guidette to join in on the guido man soup cooking in the hot tub and it becomes clear she’s going to try to flirt/sleep her way into the good graces of the men in the house. (Not a good idea. The good graces that come from smushing last for about two minutes after the magical moment is over.)
Eventually the entire crew head out to the clubs in two separate cabs and during this trip we get the perhaps the greatest moment of editing in the short history of Jersey Shore when we are watching JWoww, Snooki, Sammi and Angelina in a brutally loud screaming cat fight with each other and we’re switched to a view from the guys’ cab in which all the boys are sitting silently horny in anticipation of the Miami chickegery that is about to happen.
At the clubs, Ronnie gets into it with Sammi and gets COMPLETELY smashed while making out with multiple grenades at once and loving every minute of it. The other guys are a little more dignified as hot chicks are drawn to their fame and abs like moths to a flame.
The girls return home early thanks in large part to Sammi’s frustration over still having feelings for Ronnie.
That’s pretty much it! I have to confess that I was rather pessimistic about MTV being able to capture lightening in a bottle again. I was worried that these same people getting another beach house and doing the same things all over again after being skyrocketed into fame would inevitably seem staged and insincere.
BUT, my concerns have been completely erased after this first episode! There was very little awkwardness and insincerity as the boys got right back to drinkin’ and creepin’ and the tensions on the girls’ side seemed completely real as the brilliance of MTV bringing back Angelina to rile things up became apparent.
This should be yet another immensely entertaining season of unadmirable behavior from the most charismatic and reprehensible cast on television!
Here is the complete Jersey Shore Season 2 Episode 1 “Goin’ South” for your viewing pleasure. Be warned that this show is like meth and that you may think you’re “just going to try it once” but it never turns out that way!
