Watching Ty Brown’s first one-on-one date with Ali Fedotowsky in episode six of The Bachelorette made for some very uncomfortable television viewing as the hunky 31-year-old musician from Nashville struggled to answer questions about his recent divorce from Lindsey Grant. His good ol’ boy charm wasn’t enough to overcome his awkwardness as he seemingly seemingly tried to say exactly what he thought Ali wanted to hear.
I’ve cued up this Hulu clip of the first half of the episode for you so that it begins with Ty and Ali’s romantic dinner in Istanbul, Turkey and their discussion of his previous marriage:
As difficult as it was for me and millions of others to watch, it was even more frustrating for Ty’s former wife, Lindsey Grant. In our interview with her, Lindsey said she hadn’t been watching the show, but she must have given in to the temptation to tune in last Monday night when it was revealed Ali and Ty would have their first date because she contacted me soon after the episode aired and expressed her frustration and anger at the things Ty had said.
Although there are still specific things about what led to their break up she doesn’t want to talk about (She told us in an earlier post that Ty had been “untruthful” and left it at that), Lindsey did want the opportunity to address some of Ty’s comments from the show and I am glad that we can provide her a forum to do just that!
Here are some excerpts of Ty and Ali’s conversation with commentary by Lindsey:
TY: It’s been a learning experience for me in that when it’s right it’s just something that you just know. And I like that you’re spontaneous. I like that you’re not scared to get you’re hands dirty. I like that you’re ambitious and you’re – you’re driven and that’s – it comes out. And it’s very, very – it’s very sexy actually. It’s very becoming. It really is. And I just want to know: what is it about me that you like?
LINDSEY: I can tell you that being “spontaneous” (or “a little fly by the seat of your pants kinda girl,” or “somewhat of a free spirit”) was one of the things Ty did not like about me. I think he respected the fact when we met that I was “chasing my dreams” being that he never allowed himself to do the same, but as soon as I lost my record deal, things changed. I have a hard time when I think that he might have married me for what he thought I would be one day, not for who I really was.
ALI: Was there like an incident that happened one day or was it just, like building?
TY: It was more of a lot of things building up, and I expected one thing, and it really wasn’t there.
LINDSEY: I guess by “a lot of things building up” he means that I wasn’t quite the woman he needed me to be. What I mean by that is completely succumbing to everything he needed to control – not being submissive to every idea, demand and request he wanted of me. I guess not giving myself completely physically, emotionally and mentally was not enough for him.
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ALI: Who offered the divorce papers. Like, who – who suggested –
TY: That was me.
LINDSEY: I offered the divorce. I left him after many, many attempts to work it out. I do not believe in divorce and would have never walked away knowing that I hadn’t exhausted all my options to work it out. I still do not want to discuss details but it wasn’t good. The only reason he technically “filed” first was because he beat my lawyer to the court house.
(Note: The official divorce documents cite Lindsey as the petitioner.)
Lindsey Grant and Ty Brown on their wedding day: October 6, 2007
TY: I grew up – my mom stayed at home while the kids were at school, you know, my dad worked – and that’s what I was accustomed to. But, uh, with that being said, I mean it’s not like it used to be –
ALI: Is that what happened? In, like, your marriage? Was –
TY: I think a lot of that was the problem.
ALI: Did you have more traditional roles? Did she work?
TY: Did she?
TY: That was a lot of it. I guess I struggle with that sometimes, and it took me living a little bit and seeing what else was out there.
TY: Women are presidents of companies, they’re CEOs. I was so closed growing up I didn’t see those types of things.
LINDSEY: I will just say that his mother worked most of his life. That was one reason he found fault with me. When I lost my job for about 3 to 4 months, he was constantly on me to find something…said it was time to get a “grown up job” after I lost my record deal. When the discussion came up of me not working for a few years when we had kids, he wouldn’t even hear of it. I grew up in a home where my mother did not work and I was very appreciative of that when I got older and wanted the same for my children. He told me it was not an option for me not to work because his mother always did.
TY: I mean I learned it has to be all or nothing. You’re either in it or you’re not. So, with that being said, I think I’m a better person. I think that I can be a better person for somebody else, and finding somebody that I am going to be 85 shuffling my feet along the floor with, not being able to walk – that’s important, and I want that. I want to be with somebody that I enjoy. That is – That’s gotta be part of it.
LINDSEY: I hope he has learned that it’s all or nothing. And I hope he is a better person. My biggest fear with all of this was that I would be the one to help him change and someone else would reap the benefits of the changed man he might become. Regardless, and although I have moved on, it’s still very much a heart-breaking struggle for me to deal with and remember all that I went through with him.
Once again I’d like to thank Lindsey for taking the time to talk with us. Through our numerous conversation I’ve gained ton of respect for her and how she has handled what must be a terribly painful and frustrating situation.
You can read our interview with Lindsey HERE and our post addressing whether or not Ty had been unfaithful during their marriage HERE. For our profile post about Lindsey, including details about her music career and an unbelievably sexy shot of her and a tractor, CLICK HERE.