Virtual bimbo pioneer Tila Tequila hinted she might be pregnant on her blog a few days ago and that the baby daddy is “A-list famous.” There’s no way I could say it better than someone as fluent in IMglish as Tila, so Imma hush 4 now and let her blog post set this up:
I’m telling you….it would just change EVERYTHING! Everyone will be VERY shocked…so Imma hush 4 now.
Trust me, this is LIFE CHANGING and not a small thing. Even I was shocked when I found out….Let’s all pray. Let’s just say I got hip hop … Someone is not stepping up the the plate…but it’s all good. We all know I have more balls then you will ever have and your a man! Whatever
You should at least step up to the plate or I’m gonna have to put you on blast in the media….and IM SURE thats not what you want do you?
I’m talking about someone very very very very very f***ing famous! He is like A-list famous and you follow him on twitter too. All I know is if this m*********er doesn’t step up soon Im gonna have to go to the media and put him on blast.
Imma give him 1 chance step up
Apparently the very very very very very famous man in question needs 1 mo chance step up because all is quiet on the baby daddy front.
Just like her bra, Tila was at a breaking point trying to hold back. The pressure was too much though, and yesterday morning around 4 AM she unleashed this nice pair of twits:
Some were speculating the father might be Ray J, but if Tila’s description is accurate, he’s about five verys short. The most popular A-list name getting tossed about is P Diddy, which might call for a separate post with the title “Diddy or Didn’t He?” Miraculously, starcasm investigative reporters have once again turned up an exclusive! (Aren’t they grand?) This is Tila Tequila’s sonogram, taken earlier today! If you look closely – there towards the bottom of Tila’s uterus – you can just make out little Jose Cuervo Jr. Awwwwwwww!
As if the sonogram weren’t enough, I offer this frightful glimpse into the future featuring the new sibling for Tila’s twins:
(Perhaps that was Tila Overquila?)
Fame-mongering in the virtual age is a 24/7 commitment involving blog posts, tweeting, texting, IMing and posing nude for cell photos, so I thought I might help out the Queen of Social Networking with some potential baby names:
For a little girl:
Rosa Mimosa
Mary Jane Hurricane
Eliza Budwiza
Jeannie Martini
Mona Corona
Lolita Margarita
And on the off chance that it’s a boy:
Marty Bacardi
Zachory Daquiri
Feel free to add more suggestions if you have them! Tila most certainly needs all the help she can get! This is your 1 chance step up!
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Yet she IS pregnant though. So we wont get a real photo for a month or two more.
I saw the real picture and that bumb wasnt there, so this is confirmed a fake. Look at the insiders photo of this -its dead different.
This is the most disgusting picture I’ve ever seen in my life. Mybe she is pregnant with watermalon!! Fake top fake bottom!!!
hasta embarazada tila tequla se ve sexi yo soi chilena y soi fanatica de tila tequila y vi sus 2 shot de amor q me fasinaron y q me dio a pensar x q no yo tabien ser bixesual
I thought of one that’s an alcoholic doubleshot:
Sherry Bloody Mary
Mr. Whipple Fuzzie Nipple. (Don’t squeeze the Charmin!)
Randy Brandy, Dan Black And Tan, Jermaine Champagne
PS- Stumbled, you sicko!
You had me at the sonogram. So sick, so great.
You’re a little light on boy’s names. How about
Louie Drambuie?
Louie Drambuie! Wow! Hmmmm… How ’bout Doyle Crown Royal or perhaps the best one yet: PETER BEEFEATER! (which would all but guarantee a career in the adult gay porn industry)
I love you Starcasm! I was liking Michael Hard or Smirnoff Ice. But you know that doesn’t go with the theme but it’s early and it’s all I got right now. LOL
C’mon Taylor! Get back in the ring! Laurie Campari, Javy Mondavi, Tito Mohito. (Damn – Tila might just go with Tito Mohito! “Hello. I’m Tila Tequila and this is my son Tito Mohito.” Scary perfect!)