Just when I thought the downward spiraling ticking time bomb life of Lindsay Lohan was seconds away from going supernova, she manages to find another special someone – someone she can tell all her troubles to – someone willing to accept her for who she is – someone that actually finds her many many flaws attractive. The two have known each other for some time, but have only grown close over the last week – exchanging phone calls, emails, tweets, and who knows what all else.
So who is this mystery lover?
Starcasm has an exclusive, intimate portrait of the couple!
That’s right – Lindsay Lohan is in bed with US Weekly!
Here’s the latest cover:
I’m happy that Lindsay has found such a good listener, but I’m fearful that her new lover might be using her. I’ll let you be the judge. Here’s some verbage from Lilo’s new partner’s web site:
In the newest issue of Us Weekly, Lindsay Lohan opens up about her heartbreaking split from Samantha Ronson, the “humiliating” weekend showdown with Ronson’s family, and says that friends’ fears she is suicidal are unfounded.
“It’s absolute hell,” Lohan told Us on Monday in a far-ranging interview over several lengthy phone calls and emails where she was agitated, crying and baffled by the turn of events.
Ronson broke it off with her girlfriend of nearly two years last Friday, and hired five security guards to keep Lohan out of an afterparty for her sister Charlotte at the Chateau Marmont. (Lohan was staying directly one floor above the Ronsons with her mom Dina and sister Ali.)
The next day, Ronson changed the locks on the Hollywood Hills home she shared with Lohan. On Monday, Ronson’s mom and sister asked police about obtaining a restraining order against Lohan, Beverly Hills Sgt. Nutall confirms to Us.
Lohan says she’s “so alone” without Ronson.
“Everyone’s turned on me,” says the actress. She tells the magazine that the night of the Chateau showdown, Nicole Richie walked by her and said “Uck,” and Drea De Matteo said, “Come at me, b*tch.”
Sources tell the magazine Ronson had repeatedly tried to break up with Lohan over the past month, but each time, “Lindsay threatens to kill herself — she cares about her but wants out.”
Lohan laughs upon hearing that, saying she’s okay.
“I’m just really hurt!” she says. “The whole situation is sick.”
(For more on Lohan — including what she has to say about her rumored affair with Chace Crawford, why friends think she should be institutionalized and just how broke she really is — pick up the new issue of Us Weekly, on newsstands today.)
Not caught up on your Lohan drama? Check out our multimedia timeline that will roughly catch you up to the US Weekly hook up.
