VIDEO Watch the full Being Amber MTV special with Amber Portwood — plus recap and review

Amber Portwood - Being Amber - Leah Reunion

In what was likely the most anticipated Teen Mom follow-up specials, Being Amber documented Amber Portwood’s first few hours and days out of prison.

“It’s been a year and a half of hell,” Amber said of her 17 month prison stint. “It was really bad. But I worked on myself and worked to make myself better.”

Amber Portwood Prison Release - Being Amber

Gary Shirley empathetically added during another point in the special that prison was one of the best things that’s ever happened to Amber — who emerged with a recommitment to mothering daughter Leah.

But, as a sneak peek demonstrated, Amber’s first few days of freedom weren’t entirely blissful. She worried about Leah’s fear of abandonment and broke down while thinking about what she was like during the height of her addiction.

“She’s afraid that I’m gonna f**king leave her again. I just f**king hate everything I did. It was all the drugs and s**t. It was all I did. All I did was get f**ked up.”

Even though she recognized why it’s important to star sober, Amber admitted to her cousin that temptations to use drugs are much greater outside of prison. (Pretty much anyone who denied that would be lying.)

“I’ve f**king been wanting to get high all day, since I woken up this morning. I swear to god,” said Amber, who was addicted to Fentanyl patches. “Being free is so much different than being in prison and being sober… I know what I can do. Like ‘Amber, you can go find these there.’ … I’m always gonna have triggers, I’m always gonna wanna get high. That’s never gonna go away.”

Being Amber - Drug Confession

Fortunately, Amber’s family seemed to be there every step of the way — including cousin Krystal who offered to go along to Narcotics Anonymous meetings for moral support.

Being Amber included funny moments (explaining Jolly Rancher hairspray to her grandparents), heartbreaking moments (her concerns for Leah) and touching moments (her reunions with family members). All in all, it made for a great hour of MTV programming…

Watch the full Being Amber special, which includes Amber’s reaction to getting greeted by paparazzi outside the prison, the state of her “toxic” relationship with Gary and her first post-prison meeting with Leah.

In my opinion, Being Amber was one of the most touching Teen Mom related shows in a while. Watching a sober Amber also demonstrated she is thoughtful, loving and conscientious — which didn’t always come through on Teen Mom. As she said, “I really don’t want this show to be about mine and Gary’s relationship… I want this to be about the transition and how I’ve changed and what I want to do in the future.”

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  • Ashley

    She seemed so good. She was just really level headed and healthy. It’s so nice to see her like this.

  • savannah

    Hoping it airs in Canada soon. Luckily I was never addicted to opiates so I don’t know what that is like, but I did have addiction issues and it does get better. The triggers will always be there but the more time you put between you and your last day of using…it does get easier. Wishing Amber nothing but the best, and I’m hoping Canadians get to see this episode soon!!

  • LeeLee

    I cried several times while watching. The episode was heartbreaking and triumphant. It takes a great deal of growth to realize what she has, She has truly come such a long way! You’re a good Mom Amber and I, like the rest of the world, can’t wait to see you continue to succeed. Leah is absolutely beautiful too!

    • Ylanaty

      I cried a couple of times too. I couldn’t stand Amber when she was on TM, but this new, not only sober, but humble, self aware, and accountable for her actions Amber became my favorite Teen Mom.
      I have so much respect for this girl now. She sacrificed her freedom, and knew what she had to do, a year and a half in prison (which was supposed to be a lot more) to become the mother that Leah needs and deserves.
      And the way she handle Gary’s passive aggressive digs (he tried to push her buttons and I felt he wanted to keep Leah from her) I think it showed how much she’s matured and grown as a mother and woman. She didn’t even argue in front of Leah. I really hope she stays sober and keeps being the great mom and young woman that she showed on the special.
      Mind you, I used to not like her at all before, and I was never really a fan, but after last night, all I can say is #teamamber ! ! ! You go Amber!!

  • amberc88

    I watched all 3 of these yesterday. Farrah’s just made me sad and mad mostly for sophia, omg that like tore my heart out, she is just used to be farrahs lil puppet and if she doesnt do what farrah wants than farrah just pawns her off. The whole time it was soooo obvious that sophia just wants to be a normal kid, but isnt allowed too. i bawled watching the part where she wanted to color, but farrah was wanting her to pose for pics for some company and just pushing poor sophia over the edge. ughh made me sick. catelynn and tylers was about what i expected it to be. nice up date, nothing to crazy or special, awkward watching her sit on the toilet to take a pregnancy test. And with Ambers I can see a difference, i was mostly happy for leah you could tell how much she misses her mother and how much love she has for her. Kinda bothered me she had her breakdown with leah still sitting in the living room, im sure that freaked her out, I think she should have waited until after leah was gone. But maybe that is just me, i know everyone handles things differently. overall though i hope she continues to build her relationship with leah and that leah is able to get the trust and confidence back so she isnt always so scared her mom will be leaving her again. And I hope Amber Keeps moving forward and making her progress, I never have really liked her,but I did like seeing the change in her so far. and omg i think leah is SOOOOO beautiful!! SOrry kinda long, and not all amber based, just my feedback from the 3 of them

  • BEBE

    Gary is a disgusting piece of shit.

  • Kait

    Although she has made a LOT of progress, Amber still has some serious aggression and anger issues. That being said, I couldnt even watch Farrahs after she spoke to her father the way she did…it makes me sad that he lets her talk to him like that

  • Melissa

    I don’t know why you’re all so negative towards Gary. He has raised that little girl since she was a baby, and when Amber was crying, Leah went over to comfort her and tell her not to cry. Obviously he’s raising her right, to have empathy and compassion. He was also understanding about Amber wanting separate birthday parties. What’s so bad about him? He even made it a point to say that every time Leah called Kristina “mommy”, they’d correct her. Stop making him out to be a bad guy just because Amber is the “good girl” now. Amber might be off drugs but it’s obvious she still has major anger issues. Gary has been beside Leah since day one, so stop acting like he’s horrible.

    • bambiglanville

      I completely agree. Although I wouldn’t send praise his way, he has raised her right. She’s a very humble and compassionate little girl. I think now that she is older and Amber realises she understands things, it will push her even harder to stay sober.

    • k

      He is bad to Amber.

  • kiki

    Its important to star sober?? She didn’t star sober; she was blitzed. But she needs to stay sober… that would be a good thing…

    Fire your copy editor

  • Tish

    I was confused by Amber being so mad at Gary for moving on. From what I remember, she had several boyfriends before she went to prison. Anyway, Leah and Sophia are growing up to be two gorgeous little ladies.