Romanichal Gypsy women grow up fast, with the ideal ages for marriage being between 14 and 16 years old. In the second episode of TLC’s new reality series My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding we meet Priscilla Kelly, a 14-year-old Romanichal Gypsy girl from Douglasville, Georgia, whose dad Pat Baby is planning an extravagant Halloween party in hopes of finding her a husband.
The most important part of the elaborate bash is, of course, what Priscilla is going to wear. With money being no object, Pat Baby enlists the help of dress maker to the Gypsy stars, Sondra Celli, who tries to assess exactly what Priscilla wants in a telephone conversation:
Sondra: What kind of design do you want on your dress?
Priscilla: It’s Queen of Hearts actually, with a lot of pink, and a lot of hearts. I want it super full in the back, and I want it short in the front so you can see my legs – I want sexy but beautiful.
Yeah, I want a lot of Swarovski Crystals. I mean, I love Swarovski Crystals. I want to be, like, a human lightbulb. I want to light up the whole room.
I’m going to have the ball gown, and then I’m going to have more of a dance/sexy outfit. The ball gown is light pink, and then the dance outfit’s going to be a hot pink, and it’s going to be full of crystals too.
Sondra: They will go nuts. If you want them to go crazy, that’s what we’re going to do.
Priscilla: I don’t want to make them crazy, I want to blind them.
Priscilla and her dad fly to Boston just ten days later to see the two outfits, and I think Pat Baby (who has more than one instance during the episode in which he comes across as, ummm, extremely metrosexual) describes it best when he earnestly declares, “It makes me wish I was a cross dresser.”
The blingy pinkfest dress features 56 yards of ruffles and thousands and thousands of crystals. Pop and daughter took the dress out for a spin on the streets of Boston and the scene was more reminiscent of Priscilla Queen of the Desert than Alice in Wonderland! (Which was exactly what they wanted!)
The “dance/sexy outfit” included a bedazzled pair of tiny hot pants with hearts on both cheeks and a top with crystal encrusted tassels and matching crystal hearts on her boobs.
“Now the dance outfit she has to change into, it’s a little more risque,” Pat Baby says, “but it’s tasteful. It’s highly tasteful.”
The real belle of the Gypsy fashion ball, however, was Priscilla’s pair of high-heeled knee-high boots that featured roughly 43,000 crystals and took close to 40 hours of labor to make. The boots featured a pink inner lining and cutouts near the calves in the shape of hearts. The effect when the boots are placed in the spotlight makes both disco balls and Dorothy’s ruby red slippers seem dull and mundane by comparison!
When the party finally arrived, Priscilla lived up to all the hype. In addition to her over-the-top attire, she had matching make-up that would make Phaedra Parks jealous, with lots of dark colors and lines of crystals under her eyes. She explained earlier in the episode why Gypsies put so much emphasis on their eyes by revealing, “The eyes are the nipples of the face.”
Later on during the party, Priscilla seemed to find her Prince Charming (and potential near-future husband) with a handsome Gyspy fellow named Jimmy Smith, who stares deeply into Priscilla’s face nipples while they dance together as King and Queen of the party!
I won’t reveal whether or not Priscilla’s fairy tale has a happy ending or not – you’ll have to tune in to find out!
My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding episode 2 titled “14 And Looking For Mr Right” airs next Sunday, May 6 at 10/9c on TLC.
UPDATE – Priscilla Kelly is now (July 2017) a goth professional wrestler! Click the link for all the details!
All photos: TLC