If you’re going to make a movie called Piranha 3 Double-D you can’t pull any punches, and judging from this extended trailer, that’s exactly what Dimension Films hasn’t done!
Let’s just make sure this trailer is as awesome as we think it is, shall we?
• An over-wrought, impossibly stretched elastic plot that allows for piranha to be in a water park… CHECK
• An all-star cast of A-List C-Listers such as David Hasselhoff, Gary Busey, and Christopher Lloyd… CHECK
• Awkward sex scene in which a guy has his penis bitten by a monster hiding out in a vagina… CHECK
• Badass maimed character from the original movie with shotguns for legs… CHECK
• B00BS, B00BS, and more B00BS… TRIPLE CHECK
Because it is a sequel and because “Big Wet” water park doesn’t have the austerity and ironic flair of Italy’s historic canalled mecca, I will let the crown of King of B-Movie Trailers remain atop the scalp of Stephen Baldwin’s Sharks In Venice. That being said, all hail the Vice President of B-movie trailers! Take it away Hoff…
Distraught water park enthusiast: “People are dying! DO something!”
The Hoff [removes shades David Caruso style]: “First of all, I’m not a lifeguard. Never was. Secondly, that’s what natural selection’s all about.”
Trailer not enough for you? Here’s the very unexciting 411 on the flick:
Piranha 3DD (alternatively known as Piranha 3D: The Sequel) is an upcoming 3D horror-comedy film and sequel to the 2010 film Piranha 3D. It is directed by John Gulager from a screenplay by Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton. It stars Danielle Panabaker, Paul Scheer, and Ving Rhames, who reprise their roles from the first film. Production began on April 27, 2011 with a release scheduled for November 23, 2011, but a month prior to release this date was revised to an unspecified 2012 date.
Premise: A year after the attack on Lake Victoria by prehistoric piranhas, the creatures begin traveling through the town’s plumbing, gaining access to swimming pools and the newly-opened waterpark “Big Wet”.