The legendary founder and mastermind behind The Rent Is Too Damn High Party Jimmy McMillan is now advocating a 2nd important political platform. While his primary focus will always be the escalating cost of rent and its probable doom of New York he has now endorsed the Charlie Sheen Is Too Damn High Party.
Forget partisan politics that would have us choose between a douchebag or a turd sandwich, Mr. McMillan represents a brave new political world in which all Americans can unite under inarguable truths. Rent and Charlie Sheen are too damn high! Here is McMillan and his son propping America up by outing Sheen (some adult language):
Here is the full transcript of McMillan and Son’s Charlie Sheen Is Too Damn High sermon on the mount:
JM: I’m Jimmy McMillan and this is my son Timmy McMillan and we represent the Charlie Sheen Is Too Damn High Party
TM: Charlie Sheen is too damn high. He was in Major League, he was in Major League 2
JM: Charlie Sheen is too damn high. Listen. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of the little fat kid on Two and a Half Men eating a cheese doodle. Cheese doodles are delicious.
TM: I love to hump. What kind of message is this to send to your kids Charlie Sheen? You’re gonna get yourself fired off that show Two and a Half Men. You’re going to leave the rest of us watching a show with just Jon Cryer. No one wants to see that.
JM: If you’re gonna cut something up with a credit card, why couldn’t it be Jon Cryer?
TM: Charlie Sheen loves those prostitutes. Of course some prostitute is going to go back to the Plaza Hotel with Charlie Sheen. She can’t afford no place to live and you want to know why?
JM: Because the rent is too damn high. The only thing higher than the rent is Charlie Sheen.
TM: Shhh. You hear that sound? That’s the sound of someone who can’t afford a place to live, can’t afford a roof over their head, can’t afford food, can’t afford a bed. Shhh. You hear that sound? That’s the sound of that little fat kid on Two and a Half Men making $300,000 an episode and spending it all on Swedish fish.
JM: Swedish fish. Fish that are Swedish.
TM: Some people like to eat pot brownies. Charlie Sheen likes to eat a coke donut.
JM: My favorite Charlie Sheen movie is, hmmm, I don’t know, us folks in the black community never watch Charlie Sheen. We watch Charlie Chan.
TM: Charlie Sheen is too damn high. Got your father Martin Sheen, got your brother Emilio Sheen. He used to date Paula Abdul, you know Paula Abdul is another one. Paula Abdul is too damn high. I was once in a funeral procession with Paula Abdul bitch thought she was in the fu****g Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
JM: Thought she was Peppermint Patty or some sh!t.
TM: Thought she was a mother f*****g balloon.
JM: I would marry a shoe and Charlie Sheen would probably snort that shoe. Whatever happened to Darryl Hannah? Did you snort her too? I look like Colonel Mustard but Charlie Sheen want to marry a shoe I’ll marry you.
TM: If Charlie Sheen married a shoe he’d be Charlie Shoe. Charlie Sheen would marry a shoe and then he’d f**k another shoe. If Charlie Sheen was in the board game Clue you could find that bitch doing coke in the study with a candlestick and then 5 minutes later doing coke in the library with a wrench.
JM: I like Oprah because she remind me of oatmeal.
TM: So if you’re ever in the Plaza Hotel room 235 and you hear some prostitute in the closet starting to cry and you want to know why. It’s because Charlie Sheen was too damn high.
JM: Say it with me son.
JM & TM: CHARLIE SHEEN IS TOO DAMN HIGH!
