Rotund director Kevin Smith was sitting securely in his Southwest Airline seat with the arm rests down, his carry-on bag in the overhead compartment, and the rest of the crew already chattering in excitement about soaring through the skies with Silent Bob when flight attendant Suzanne informed him that Captain Leysath required him to leave the flight because he was a safety risk.
Here’s a pic of him seated on the plane:
Photo via Kevin Smith, TwitPic
Kevin ended up catching another flight on another Southwest plane, but he took to Twitter (@ThatKevinSmith) to strike back at @SouthwestAir, and he took it to hilarious proportions.
Here’s the full Tweetfest, settle in with some popcorn:
Dear @SouthwestAir – I know I’m fat, but was Captain Leysath really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?
Dear @SouthwestAir, I flew out in one seat, but right after issuing me a standby ticket, Oakland Southwest attendant Suzanne (wouldn’t give last name) told me Captain Leysath deemed me a “safety risk”. Again: I’m way fat… But I’m not THERE just yet. But if I am, why wait til my bag is up, and I’m seated WITH ARM RESTS DOWN. In front of a packed plane with a bunch of folks who’d already I.d.ed me as “Silent Bob.”
So, @SouthwestAir, go f**k yourself. I broke no regulation, offered no “safety risk” (what, was I gonna roll on a fellow passenger?). I was wrongly ejected from the flight (even Suzanne eventually agreed). And f**k your apologetic $100 voucher, @SouthwestAir. Thank God I don’t embarrass easily (bless you, JERSEY GIRL training). But I don’t sulk off either: so everyday, some new f**k-you Tweets for @SouthwestAir.
Wanna tell me I’m too wide for the sky? Totally cool. But fair warning, folks: IF YOU LOOK LIKE ME, YOU MAY BE EJECTED FROM @SOUTHWESTAIR.
@pigz “I know several people bigger then u who have flown on other airlines” I saw someone bigger than me on THAT flight! But I wasn’t about to throw a fellow Fatty under the plane as I’m being profiled. But he & I made eye contact, & he was like “Please don’t tell…”
Dear @SouthwestAir, I’m on another one of your planes, safely seated & buckled-in again, waiting to be dragged off in front of the normies. And, hey? @SouthwestAir? I didn’t even need a seat belt extender to buckle up. Somehow, that s**t fit over my “safety concern”-creating gut.
Hey @SouthwestAir! Sometimes, the arm rests are up because THE PEOPLE SITTING THERE ALREADY PUT THEM UP; NOT BECAUSE THEY “CAN’T GO DOWN.”
The @SouthwestAir Diet. How it works: you’re publicly shamed into a slimmer figure. Crying the weight right off has never been easier!
Hey @SouthwestAir! I’ve landed in Burbank. Don’t worry: wall of the plane was opened & I was airlifted out while Richard Simmons supervised.
Hey @SouthwestAir? F**k making it right for me just ’cause I have a platform. I sat next to a big girl who was chastised for not buying an extra ticket because “all passengers deserve their space.” F**king flight wasn’t even full! F**k your size-ist policy. Rude…
Hey @SouthwestAir! Here are two more “recent recognitions” for your Twitter home page: “Loather of the Wide” or “Pissin’ on the Portlies”.
Hey @SouthwestAir! I’ve just recorded a Very Special Episode of SModcast – all for you. It goes live tomorrow night. http://www.smodcast.com
And what did @SouthwestAir have to say back?
I’ve read the tweets all night from @thatkevinsmith – He’ll be getting a call at home from our Customer Relations VP tonight.
@ThatKevinSmith Ok, I’ll be sure to check it out. Hopefully you received our voicemail earlier this evening.
@ThatKevinSmith Again, I’m very sorry for the experience you had tonight. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do.
The airline also reportedly tried to contact Kevin, but Kevin tweeted that he’s received no voicemails, so the SW tweeter requested a different number from Kev.
Will Southwest Airlines be able to come back from their public gaffe, or will this public incident convince overweight and obese people to boycott their line, which will turn them into the unofficial airline for skinny people? Maybe that’s what they wanted, or at least Captain Leysath, wanted all along.