Sea captains use Britney Spears to frighten off Somali pirates


According to a recent report, sea captains have a new successful weapon against the dangerous onslaught of Somali pirates… The music of Britney Spears!

34-year-old merchant navy officer Rachel Owens told The Mirror that Britney’s pop music is a big deterrent for the pirates and their high-speed skiffs.

“Her songs have been chosen by the security team accompanying our tankers because they thought the pirates would hate them most. These guys can’t stand Western culture or music, making Britney’s hits perfect.”

Rachel added that they are able to project Spears’ musical spears in such a way that the crews aren’t subjected:

“There are a lot of lives and cargo at stake so security is of prime importance. The speakers can be aimed solely at the pirates so as not to disturb the crew. They’re so effective the ship’s security rarely needs to resort to firing guns – as soon as the pirates get a blast of Britney they move on as quickly as they can.”

Steven Jones, of the Security Association for the Maritime Industry, said US police and military were the first to use music to quell rioters and then oops the cruise ships and cargo vessels in the area hit it baby one more time by using the same work b**ch tactic.

When asked if they had used the music of The Biebs Jones joked, “I’d imagine using Justin Bieber would be against the Geneva Convention.”

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