Jersey Shore returns to desterilize America’s living rooms tonight with a third season of their Garden State flavored brand of hedonism that millions of fans (like me!) gobble up like so much high-calorie low-nutrition fast food value meals!
Most everything about Season 3 will stick to the formula that launched this group of self-proclaimed Guidos and Guidettes into international superstars as Snooki, The Situation, Pauly D, J-Woww, Vinny, Ronnie and Sammi Sweetheart return to Seaside Heights for a summer filled with drinking, smushing, tanning, swearing, punching and being damned entertaining.
^ Deena Nicole Cortese prior to being cast on Jersey Shore
There will be one major difference though, as MTV has added a new ingredient to their best-selling reality television value meal! Instead of opting to allow Angelina the opportunity to make a fool of herself yet again by getting humiliated off of the show for a third straight year, MTV has allowed Snooki to hand-pick a replacement, and that replacement is the Snookilike Deena Nicole Cortese – a 23-year-old “party in a body” who is already a huge celebrity thanks to a Jersey Shore season 3 preview clip in which she strips in front of The Situation and inadvertently removes more than just her pants.
“I was drunk and trying to show off my bathing suit,” she explains to the New York Post. “I was so drunk I didn’t realize that I took off my bottoms with my skirt. I was mortified.”
^ Deena Cortese in one of her infamous MySpace party pics
Judging from what I have read and seen of Deena I think mortification may be something she is incapable of – and I mean that in a “successful reality show” positive kind of way!
Snooki’s pouf-sporting twin tells The Post, “Snooks and I are two peas in a pod when it comes to partying.” They are also peas in a pod when it comes to addictive catch phrases!
“I have my own little vocabulary,” says the South Jersey native who lives at home in New Egypt with her parents and quit her waitressing job last week. “I call girls who are sloppy drunk ‘slop tarts.’ I’ve been a slop tart before. I just talk a different language, and a lot of the cast started picking it up from me.”
^ Deena shops for an “appropriate” Guidette Halloween costume
As much as I enjoy watching the Shakespearean tragedy that is Angelina Pivarnick, I’m looking forward to seeing Snooki squared gettin’ their diminutive bodies and plus-sized personalities into all sorts of drama-inducing predicaments resulting in numerous arrests, heartbreak and any number of sexually transmitted diseases!
Oh, but don’t think for a second that Deena can’t clean up nice! Which the situation calls for it (no, not that Situation) Deena can bring the glam, as she does in this next photo from the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards:
Jersey Shore Season 3 premieres tonight (Thursday, January 6, 2011) on MTV at 10/9c! Be sure to tune in, or at least DVR it if you’d rather not miss out on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on Bravo!
Here are a couple more Deena Nicole Cortese pictures while you wait featuring the junk in the trunktacular Deena getting ready for a Jersey Shore MTV photoshoot in a mini-skirt and bikini:
That’s the end.
Photos (except 2 and 3): SplashNews.com
