Midwestern 18-year-old defends plans to marry formerly long-lost dad

Guests at the upcoming wedding of an 18-year-old from the Great Lakes region won’t have to pick between the sides of the aisle — because they’re likely all there for the bride and groom, who are biologically daughter and father.

The unnamed bride-to-be defended her plans to marry her father in a New York Magazine article titled “What It’s Like to Date Your Dad.” She explained her parents conceived her on their prom night, but split up months later. For the first few years, her parents had joint custody and she was able to spend weekends with her dad.

“He spoiled me rotten. I had this giant storage tote of Barbie dolls and I had my own Mary-Kate and Ashley bedroom. It was a little girl’s dream,” she said of her childhood memories with her dad. But, when the girl was 5, her mom cut off their contact with the girl’s father. “My mom said that he didn’t want to have anything to do with me. But she was very controlling and kept me under Fort Knox–like conditions.”

The daughter and father didn’t have any contact for the next 12 years, until reconnecting on Facebook.

“I told him I thought he was dead and asked why it took him so long to contact me. He said he’d been adding me on Facebook but I’d always decline his requests,” the daughter explained. “But that was my mom controlling my account. After we reunited, he showed me emails he’d sent trying to contact me.”

As they got to know each other, the daughter said they discovered they had many similar interests, including their favorite shows and love of drawing. She also felt attracted to him: “It was so weird and confusing. I was seeing my dad for the first time in forever but it was also like, ‘He’s so good-looking!’ And then I was like, ‘What the hell are you thinking? What is wrong with you?'”

After wrestling with those feelings on their first extended visit at his house, the daughter said she talked about it with her dad — who said he felt the same way.

“We stopped and said that we didn’t know what was going on but admitted that we had strong feelings for each other,” she said. “We discussed whether it was wrong and then we kissed. And then we made out, and then we made love for the first time. That was when I lost my virginity… I think it was also a good experience because most guys my age are only interested in having sex with you. I could tell that wasn’t the case with him.”

At the time, the dad was living with a girlfriend. They quickly broke up and the father and daughter moved in with another one of his ex-girlfriends. The daughter said it was awkward for the first few months, but that woman accepts their relationship and now refers to her as her daughter. They are now planning their “unique” wedding, with the full support of his family.

“Those who know that he’s my dad, and that we are engaged, include my father’s parents,” she said. “They can see we are happy together and they can’t wait for us to have babies — they treat us just like any other couple.”

As for the logistics of the marriage, she said they can’t legally register, but she still wants “a full-on wedding.” She explained, “The color scheme is black and purple, and we are both going to wear Converse tennis shoes. He’s wearing jeans and a nice dress shirt. He says he’s not wearing a bow tie, but it’s my wedding and I am saying that he is.” She’s even decided that her paternal grandpa will be the one who gives her away — which is normally a role reserved for the father of the bride.

They plan to move to New Jersey after the wedding because she said adult incest is legal there. That’s when they’ll reveal the true nature of their relationship to her mom.

“I’ll call my mom and let her know that we are in love and we are having children. If she wants to see her grandkids we’ll send her money and she can drive to see us,” she said. “Once we are out about it I won’t be comfortable going back to my hometown. What if someone calls the cops?”

The daughter also said she doesn’t have any qualms about having biological children with her father, although they don’t plan to tell the kids about their messy family tree.

“Incest has been around as long as humans have. Everybody just needs to deal with it as long as nobody is getting hurt or getting pressured or forced,” she argued. “I just don’t understand why I’m judged for being happy. We are two adults who brought each other out of dark places. People need to research incest and GSA (Genetic Sexual Attraction) because they don’t get it and I don’t think they understand how often it happens.”

In 2003, the expert who coined the term “Genetic Sexual Attraction” told The Guardian she estimates 50 percent of people who reconnect with long-lost family members in adulthood experience some kind of sexual attraction — as was the case for rapper Kevin Gates. Even though incestuous relationships may be more common than many realize, NY Mag cited a 1983 study that showed there are serious risks for children of conceived by brother/sister or parent/child relationships.