Amber Portwood seems to be struggling quite a bit recently with her public perception and being judged online. Last week she tweeted that she wanted to “quit the show” during a episode where she revealed to her daughter’s stepmom, Kristina Anderson, that she had suffered a miscarriage in order to help Kristina feel less alone about her eptopic pregnancy. Two days ago on Amber’s daughter Leah’s 10th birthday, the Amber broke down in tears on Instagram stories – blaming the show for making the audience tell her she’s a “bad mom.”
“I just really don’t understand how I’m a bad mom. I really don’t, I haven’t done anything to be a bad mom,” Amber said on Instagram after celebrating Leah’s birthday with her. “I did literally something 10 years ago that people are still holding on to.” Amber was referring to the fact that she was filmed physically abused her ex Gary Shirley, the father of her daughter Leah. In 2011 Amber pled guilty to the assault.
“Anything that I did nine or 10 years ago is something I did nine or 10 years ago but it is not something that should be thrown in my face. The only person who needs to forgive me is Gary and God, not you guys,” she further defended herself against people constantly bringing that up.
Gary has had primary custody of their daughter Leah for the majority of Leah’s life, but Amber assured everyone that she talks to her daughter every day and that they have “an amazing relationship.
“Everything I’ve been doing is all I can do. I can’t go and steal my daughter,” she explained. “I’m there for my daughter whenever she needs me. I talk to her every day. Any time she wants to see me she can see me unless she wants to hang out with her friends.”
Amber celebrated Leah’s birthday on social media by sharing an adorable throwback photo.
“Leah told me today that today was one of the best days of her life to me and it’s like I go online and get so much hate,” she explained “I feel like I am getting bullied.”
Amber elaborated that the show Teen Mom has “ruined” her image as a mother and she is tired of being a “villain” for this reality show. “I can’t keep blocking hater, I can’t keep doing it,” she said. Amber has dealt with drug addiction and multiple different mental health diagnoses that may make stress from online comments even more severe.
What are her plans for the future, though?
“My next journey is going to be helping people,” she explained, asking that the show put her in a better light if she’s going to stay with it. “I will not be able to move forward with this show unless I am able to show my truth and that’s all I got to say. I love you guys and I don’t know if I am going to be back or not because I want my story shown.”
Along with 10-year-old Leah, Amber is a mom to 6-month-old James with her boyfriend, cinamatographer Andrew Glennon.
Amelia Cunningham is a Starcasm writer and editor @AmeliaStarcasm