After she was released from prison last November, Teen Mom‘s Amber Portwood was determined to stay sober — even though the temptation to use drugs again was immediate.
“It’s whenever things are overwhelming for me, or any sort of emotion — sadness, depression, anything — it is very easy to go back to doing drugs because you don’t want to feel that way,” Amber told Radar Online.
Fortunately, she said her cravings are increasingly easier to manage, partially because of the skills she learned during 500 hours of rehab classes in prison and partially because of the situations she puts herself in now.
“I don’t go out really. I stay with friends and family. I moved 20 minutes away, to a small town — and I’m just trying to do everything right,” she said. “If I’m bored, I’ll call somebody or I’ll go do something or I’ll take a drive.”
Amber and her cousin.
One fear she is yet to overcome is getting medication for her diagnosed bipolar disorder.
“I’m kind of scared to go to a doctor,” she admitted. “It is hard but the sad thing about it is that I probably do need to be on medication for my bipolar but I kind of messed that up to where, at this moment, I don’t feel I would be strong enough to go to a doctor.”
Although she knows she would likely benefit from medication, Amber said she isn’t even comfortable taking prescription drugs.
“The one thing about an addict is that there’s so many temptations and if you know your temptations, you stay away from it,” said Amber, who was addicted to Fentanyl patches. “And I’m not about to put myself in that position right now until I feel like I am completely ready.”
Amber will return to MTV with Maci Bookout and Catelynn Lowell for a new season of Teen Mom next year. Her memoir, Never Too Late, is due out next week.
