LINKS Zoom Dick, Pre-Election Asteroid, 50 Cent loves money…

Zoom Dick

JEZEBELStill-current New Yorker writer, television pundit, and lawyer Jeffrey Toobin gave rise to the phrase “Zoom Dick” yesterday, after it emerged that Toobin mistakenly got his dick out during a Zoom meeting with at least seven other New Yorker heavyweights. The number of dick-related puns on Toobin’s name has been a delight

DLISTEDNeil deGrasse Tyson says there’s a decent chance an asteroid approximately the size of a refrigerator could “buzz-cut Earth” the day before the presidential election. Tyson also says the asteroid is too small “to cause harm,” which leads me to wonder: a refrigerator from the 1950s, or one from today?

THE BLAST50 Cent appears to intend to vote for America’s current president in the upcoming election. He announced this after seeing a graphic on the evening news featuring hypothetical upper tax brackets under the Biden plan, where people making more than $400,000 per year would see an increase. In unsurprising related news, 50 Cent appears to value money above all



THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP16 and Pregnant Season 6 Stars Madisen Beith & Rachelle Perez Give Updates on Their Lives as Teen Moms, Their Relationship Statuses & More”

REALITY TEARHOBH star Erika Jayne stole a meme from a noted fan account (@brandsbybravo), then didn’t credit the account in reposting it, *then* mocked the account when the woman behind it asked Erika for credit. It’s never a good sign when you start thinking you’re above the fan accounts

THE HOLLYWOOD GOSSIPKim Kardashian is upset over the affect the coronavirus pandemic has had on her 40th birthday plans. She intended to have a week-long party called “Wild, Wild Miss West’s 40th Birthday,” complete with a metal cowgirl costume (?), but now Kim’s had to scrap everything because no one will come because there’s a debilitating virus lurking in everyone’s bushes

CELEBITCHYThe British press is accusing one of the royal couples of elitism, “sitting in an ivory tower,” and “becoming a bit irrelevant.” Guess before you click: it is William and Kate, or Harry and Meghan?

LAINEY GOSSIPLily James has canceled every promotional appearance for the new Netflix remake of Rebecca after tabloid photos of her dalliance in Rome with married douche Dominic West dictated 100% of the questions she woud get if she went on anyone’s show

GO FUG YOURSELFNow this is an interesting celebrity photo gallery for 2020: “Let’s Stare at Some Celebrity Zoom Backgrounds”

VOX“This animated miniseries perfectly captures the loneliness of autumn: Over the Garden Wall is like a forgotten fairy tale, and it can be watched in under two hours.”

(Photo credit: Twitter)

John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail john@starcasm.net or Twitter @john_starcasm.


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