Your Morning Starbuzz! 11-06-08

You Can See Mos Def’s Photo At The Pos Office
There’s a warrant out for Mos Def’s arrest stemming from an attack on a fashion photographer. Mos lame warrant ever!

Gimme A “D”
Gimme An Apostrophe
Gimme An “O”
Gimme An H!

A New England Patriots cheerleader is fired for writing on a passed out drunk guy. Thank goodness we’re not all cheerleaders! The unemployment rate would be like 89%!

INSTANT FOLLOW-UP! Cheerleader: “It Was Bad Judgement”
(Did we mention this story has penises and swastikas?)

Steve Guttenberg Premieres “Cockoon”
We didn’t actually watch this video, but it’s something about Gooty running around naked.

(Here are some news stories about things that we LOVE! No starcasm here, just geeky closet exiting)

Gwynneth Paltrow’s Latest Ridiculous Outfit
We couldn’t find a kind word anywhere on the internet about poor Gwynneth’s choice of attire for the premiere of “Two Lovers.” F*** you internet! Gwynneth ain’t stupid so there’s a reason she keeps wearing these things – sarcastic fashion! (We almost said “sarcashion,” but it didn’t quite work) Oooooooo damn it’s so hot! Lacy see-thru faux hourglass dress with momma panties! Call us Shakespeare, cuz we’re in love!

Oh Snap! Earl’s Wife Breaks It Off With Fiancé
It’s hard to wear a trailer and make it look good, but Jaime Pressly makes it happen! I never thought I’d say the words, “I wish I was Crab Man.”,,20238463,00.html

Michelle Obama Is A Cow Killer!
When I was a kid I loved me some bugs. (Gwynneth Paltrow, Earl’s wife, and bugs as a kid – can you guess the Starbuzz author’s gender?) And my absolute favorite was the red velvet ant, or “cow killer.” After getting a little dust in my eye during the Obama speech the other night, my eyes opened wide when I saw the first lady-elect come on stage in a Halloween costume of my favorite bug! Please, please, please know this is a huge compliment! Michelle Obama is a cow killer! (I wish I had a better photo of the bug – that red color is WAAAY brighter in reality)

Michelle Obama is a cow killer

Merle Haggard Recovering From Surgery
I have a VERY music-savvy friend and we often find ourselves creating “High Fidelity” lists of all sorts: Top Ten Albums of the ’90s, Best Debut Albums, Best Closing Song on an album… The funnest part of making these lists is when you’ve put a great deal of thought into it and come up with an answer that surprises you. Well, we were trying to come up with “The Most Prolific GREAT Songwriters Ever” when we realized that, undeniably, Merle Haggard is right there with the Bob Dylans and Neil Youngs. This man, who’s first home was a converted boxcar, who was arrested for breaking into a bar when it was open, who was serving time in San Quentin when he saw Johnny Cash perform and decided “I want to do that,” has been writing (and performing) some of the best songs in popular music for over 40 years. Merle is recovering from surgery to remove a cancerous growth from his lung and we want to wish him a very speedy recovery. (Merle also topped our list of most talented singers, right above Sinatra. Not the best mind you, but the one with the most talent)

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