Ciara has the internet all hot and bothered with a sexy new video for her not-so-subtle innuendo tune “Ride” featuring Ludacris.
I used to be a big proponent of subtlety when it came to ladies shakin their thang and singin’ about makin’ sweet love, but with performers like Ciara I simply have no defense for that way of thinking, at least no defense that would win over a jury of my heterosexual male peers.
Jurors, have you reached a verdict?
We have your honor.
And how do you find?
We find the defendant guilty. DAMN guilty! But, not guilty.
This court finds in favor of Ciara. You are free to go… with your damn fine self! Mmmm, mmm, mmmm!!!
Don’t have time to watch the entire thing? Here are some highlights:
(Click photo for larger image)
That’s hot, but you just don’t get the full Ciara until you see her do that “climbing the ladder” thing with her butt cheeks! That is some Derrierry Houdini magic stuff right there! (Look for a great example at the 4:25 mark)
And here are the lyrics to “Ride” – I think it’s a metaphor for dancing. What do you think?
[Ciara]
Uh-huh
[Intro]
Catch me in the mall
You know I buy it out.
G5 planes, yeah I fly it out.
N-gga in the back look like lex
In them 28’s and
Oh you can’t get her if
Ain’t got plenty cake.
ATL Georgia, bodies
Look like this size
23 waist, pretty face
Thick thighs.
[Ciara]
I can do it big
I can do it long
I can do whenever or however
You want
I can do it up and down
I can do circles
To him I’m a gymnast
This one is my circus
[Chorus]
I mark it so good
They can’t wait til you try
Me
I work it so good
Man, these n-ggas
Tryna buy I I I I me
They love they way I ride it (x3)
They love the way I ride the beat
How I ride the beat, I ride it
They love they way I ride it (x3)
They love the way I ride the beat
Like a motherf-cking freak
And I won’t stop, don’t stop
Get it! Get it!
Imma pitch down the middle
Baby hit it! hit it!
I do it tonight
Handle my business, like a big girl should
1 o’clock, 2 o’clock
2 o’clock, 4…
5 o’clock, 6 o’clock
Baby give me more.
Pick me up, pick me up.
You are my Ducati, I’m all up your frame
Baby say my name.
Show you how get ummm,
Show you how to do it
Left hip, right hip
But your back into it ohhhh
[Chorus]
[Ludacris]
She ride her like a rollercoaster
Soon as I get her to the top she screams.
I put her out like a lite,
She’ll be out for the night
When her head hit the pollows sweet dreams
Wake her up about 30mins later,
Calling me the terminator, let’s go again
Red zone, imma get her first down
Call me luda true
Breeze I throw it in.
Touch down, he scores,
Ludacris the MVP
With a rack like that and a back like that
Cici better CC me.
Cause them legs just keep on going
So I gotta put her to bed.
Let the 808 bump, and the go bunk
Cause she ride it like a….
He love they way I ride it (x3)
He love the way I ride the beat
Like a motherfu**g freak
Ohh baby baby baby
Do me like you up when I’m up
When I’m done, when I’m done
Ohh baby baby baby
You can stand to look away when
I’m swirling this around.
Oh baby bay you like it
Once it get up and down.
Oh baby he love it when
I twirl this thing around
He love they way I ride it (x3)
He love the way I ride the beat
Like a motherf-ckng freak
