Overly sexualized teen bride Courtney Stodden has left behind pumpkin patches and churches in favor of the great blue sea as she puts her own trashy innuendo-ized spin on mermaidkind in a commercial she maid for Poptent.com, in an attempt to make a commercial for FreeCreditScore.com. (Retraction: We originally posted that she actually made this commercial for FreeCreditScore.com, but we have been notified that we were highly mistaken. She made this commercial for poptent.com, which according to statement from FreeCreditScore.com is a “video production service, where brands and agencies post specific video assignments to generate creative concepts for review and consideration by a brand. Poptent’s participation guidelines specifically state that any and all work product must first be selected, reviewed, and approved by the client brand or agency before it can be commercially shared or distributed. Such review and approval from Poptent.com or FreeCreditScore.com never occurred.” Courtney Stodden was not approved, and was not paid an single penny for this video, and we deeply apologize to FreeCreditScore.com for making it seem otherwise. Get your credit score from FreeCreditScore.com, they’re good people.)
In the video, a black guy and an Asian man are fishing from a rock tossing about metaphors for dating. (Don’t worry, we’re all confused already) The Asian man reals in a small fish which the black man mocks saying, “What the hell? I can’t eat that! Look at me. That’s a damned appetizer.”
The Asian man has an epiphany and pulls out a large, non-sharp S-hook and declares, “A-ha! Bigger hook, bigger fish!”
He lands a huge fish and the two men fall over backwards. When they come to, there is Courtney Stodden in all her mermaiden glory. And of course she gets right to the nasty…
“OMG… I’m so… wet!” She then does what Courtney Stodden does – which is wriggle around and make exaggerated sexy faces.
The Asian man declares, “I scored!” Then looks over at his pal and asks, “Can you eat that?”
The whole thing seemed more like an odor-locking Glad trash bag commercial than one for a credit report company. One thing positive that can be said for Courtney Stodden wearing a mermaid costume is that at least it keeps her legs together!
Didn’t feel like watching the video? No problem, here is a seizure-inducing animated gif of Tuna McFlopsalot for you:
Let’s ask Hipster Ariel what she thinks about it…
Hipster Ariel does not approve: (BTW, Hipster Ariel is actually cosplayer extraordinaire Traci Hines.)