Beyonce’s greatness is too much for one identity so she has gifted us with Sasha Fierce, her new alter-ego that is supposed to represent a long list of superlative adjectives that come out when she’s working and on the stage. Did that sentence not make sense? We’ll let Beyonce explain it:
“Sasha Fierce is the fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamorous side that comes out…”
Ridiculous. Sasha Fierce? Wasn’t that a catch phrase on Project Runway? Why in the world would you want to change from Beyonce?!?! Is there a cooler, not ridiculous name in hip hop? Sasha Fierce?!?! Ugh. If you insist on changing your identity, Beyonce, we suggest a name that blends your role model from the Supremes, your level of maturity, and your alternate self: Diana Montana.
****EXCLUSIVE! – A diligent starcasm.net reporter was rifling through the trash outside of Beyonce’s marketing firm and found some mockups from what appear to be alternate alternate ego concepts! (As it turns out, maybe Sasha Fierce isn’t so bad after all) Anyway – here are Beyonce’s new identities that didn’t make the cut:
(If there are any readers of starcasm.net that don’t know who Chris Gaines is, you should be ashamed. It is the moral obligation of anyone that makes fun of celebrities, or thinks making fun of celebrities is funny, to know who this incredible character is! There is a conspiracy out there to make us all forget, but we cannot let that happen! Click here for the wikipedia entry – be sure to read the “fictional” timeline – a crazy crazy man put a lot of time into it)