The GRAMMY Awards can put on a great show, but no one has really taken them all that seriously since Milli Vanilli won Best New Artist in 1990. (Many bailed before that time, but that was the straw that broke the carers’ backs) But, it appears as though at least one of the awards has a little bit of integrity left as the GRAMMY Award for Best Album leaped from Taylor Swift’s arms to its own demise backstage in the press room.
There are some whispers that it wasn’t Grammicide at all, but proof that Kanye West has learned to control his massive ego to the point he is able to use it telekinetically! (TeleKanyetically?) If this is true, we could all be in grave danger! Especially if he shares his secret with Garth Brooks, Kevin Costner and Julia Roberts!
I digress. Here are a few more photos of Taylor Swift looking like the Octomom of GRAMMY Awards holding little golden grammophones for Album of the Year, Best Female Country Vocal Performance, Best Country Song, and Best Country Album.
We are also hearing rumors that singer Stevie Nicks may have tried to end her life after participating in that train wreck of a duet with Taylor, but it could just be that she almost died of embarrassment. We’ll keep you updated.
Meanwhile, General Larry Platt is already working on his tribute to Tomei Swift with his original song “Grammy’s on the Ground.” Here is an exclusive sneak peek at the lyrics:
Grammy’s on the ground, Grammy’s on the ground
Lookin’ like a fool with your Grammy on the ground
With the gold on the floor, face turned sideways
Grammy hit the ground, singin’ with Stevie Nicks, soundin’ like a fool
Walkin’ backstage with your Grammy on the ground. Get it up!
Hey, get your Grammy off the ground. Lookin’ like a fool
Walkin’, talkin’ with your Grammy on the ground. Get it up!
Hey, get your Grammy off the ground. Lookin’ like a fool with your Grammy on the ground.
**** In deference to the Truth and journalistic integrity and all that, I should mention that I don’t actually know which GRAMMY Award was actually broken. In deference to being funny I couldn’t really go with “Best Female Country Vocal Performance” now could I?
In case you missed it – here’s the video that proves GRAMMYs aren’t the only thing Taylor can’t hold:
(If I was too subtle, Taylor can’t hold a note. The stage is littered with ’em!)
