Jack Black unleashed his Macho Libre with a pole dancing demonstration at the Creative Arts Fair held at the Barker Hangar In Santa Monica, California on November 15th. The Fair was held to support P.S. ARTS & Restoration of Arts Education in Public Schools and also to promote enlightenment through the ancient sexy art of gettin’ it on with a pole!
Photos: Juan Rico / Fame Pictures
You can’t be a stripper without a decent stripper moniker, so I thought I would help Jack out with my Top 5 Jack Black Stripper Name Suggestions:
5. Tenacious Triple-D
4. Mariah Hairy
3. Nacho Labia
2. Roseanne Barr
1. Rotunda Shwetty
In addition to encouraging the public display of raw testosteronic masculinity I am also in favor of having a stripper pole on the red carpet of every movie premiere and major awards show! Watching Angelina Jolie and Halle Berry twirling on a pole in formal evening wear would be the highlight of the Oscars for me! And before you ladies get offended, don’t think for a second Hugh Jackman wouldn’t be pushing the ladies out of his way to get a twirl!
I still sense there are some of you out there thinking the red carpet is too sacred to be violated by something as bourgeois as pole dancing. Well, check out this video of Felix performing at the 2009 Pole Dancing Championships in Jamaica (completely OK for work!) and see if you can’t be persuaded otherwise. Try to imagine her in a nice Christian Dior gown. (Felix comes out at the 40 second mark.)
Oh man – I would watch every second of the Oscar red carpet coverage! Even with Joan Rivers and her daughter behind the microphone! And the great thing about pole dancing is that it’s really hot when you do it right and really hilarious when you do it wrong – you can’t lose! Who wouldn’t want to see Nicole Kidman do an embarrassingly awkward pole routine? I’ll get the petition started.
