Ayla Brown of American Idol fame is back in the national spotlight after her father, Republican Scott Brown, shocked the world yesterday by defeating Democratic candidate Martha Coakley to win the Massachusetts Senate seat vacated by the late Ted Kennedy in a special election.
I’d like to be the first to start the “future president” whispering, and I’m not talking about the new Senator from Massachusetts. No, Scott Brown’s surprising victory is just another feather in the cap of what is quickly becoming the single greatest resume in the history of American Politics – that of 21-year-old Ayla Brown!
Let’s run down a short list of things this All-American gal has managed to accomplished, mostly without the benefit of being able to legally consume alcohol:
1. Top 16 finish on Season 5 of American Idol, resulting in a recording contract and two albums: Forward and the soon-to-be-released Circles. Here’s a video of Ayla on American Idol back in 2005 talking about the conversion from Tomboy to Idol beauty and then performing “I Want You To Need Me.” Pay close attention to Simon Cowell’s comments after the performance because I think they are prophetic as far as my “President Ayla” theory goes:
I think you are working probably harder than anyone I’ve seen on this show so far. I think you are the type of person who, whatever you put your mind to, you’re going to end up with an “A.” If I said, “Next week we’re going to juggle,” you’d come back and juggle.
So all we need is Simon to say, “Next election you’re going to be President.”
2. Ayla is a Division One college basketball player at Boston College, a member of the ACC – the most prestigious college basketball conference in the country. This is a MAJOR bonus when trying to overcome the large population of sexist men in this country! A sports bra and a beer will get you into most most any all-boys club, including that of the Presidency. (Shooting moose works too)
Here’s Ayla looking completely ungirlish and downright Obamatastic! (Pay special attention to her number. I’m telling you, this is going to happen!)
Ayla is a communications major at Boston College, which sounds about right. She may want to at least add an Economics minor though.
3. Ayla has campaign experience. Of course she was out supporting her dad whenever she had spare time between classes, recording music and Boston College basketball games. Here she is at a press conference with her sister Arianna asking that a negative ad from the Martha Coakley campaign attacking her father (in which Massachusetts was infamously misspelled) be taken off the air:
Here’s a screen grab of the ad mentioned by Ayla highlighting the Massachusetts spelling blunder:
The only major thing left for her to do is marry. (Sorry ladies – the first woman president has GOT to be married, which isn’t really all that much of a double standard.) If she’s running on the Republican ticket like her dad, that means she needs to marry a handsome but stoic veteran that doesn’t say much. He just needs to stand there looking like he could beat you up and wear lots of medals on his uniform at formal occasions. I’m not sure about what his last name should be – Obama kind of broke the glass ceiling on non-American names. Either way, she could just stick with her maiden name if need be (Insert “Brown President” joke here.)
Get on the Ayla Brown bandwagon now while it’s still really cool and hip! It should be a really fun ride until she actually gets elected and then things don’t change all that much and her approval ranking sinks and some unknown Democrat wins a Senate seat in an off-year election and….
Oh, did I mention she is really, really hot? The only flaw in my theory is that I am a man and may not fully appreciate the female jealousy thing. But, Sarah Palin was a hottie and she didn’t seem to elicit that reaction from her conservative sisterhood so maybe it’s a non-issue.
Want to know more about Ayla? Find out everything you need to know from her website AylaBrown.com!
Remember – You heard it here first!