No, it’s not for bad acting. (Reeves can be thankful there aren’t laws against that, or he would have been a dead man walking long ago) Jurors were selected Monday in a paparazzo’s civil case against Keanu. The photographer claims Neo backed over him in his Porsche, causing him to re-injur his wrist, which probably isn’t the first time a limp-wristed guy has bumped into Keanu’s backside.
We’re gonna take it a little easy on Keanotalent here because not only did he manage to hit something with no inherent value, but the flip-floparazzo’s story has changed a number of times since the incident, which might mean Keanu also hit a worse actor than himself. Besides, if a paparazzo gets hit while taking pictures of someone backing out of a parking space, chances are he deserved it.
We would like to take a moment to honor Keanu’s first appearance on Starcasm. We look forward to a loooooong, fruitful relationship with you, dude! And if you’re reading this – if you can read at all – and would like to help out a fledgling celebrity gossip site, may we recommend:
Speed III: In Reverse
Dogstar: The Reunion Album
The Jeep Keanu
Citizen Kane ’09
Mrs. Paris Reeves
(For fans of “Point Break,” the greatest presidential mask wearing surfer bank robber movie ever, check out this mp3 that features dialogue from the movie dubbed over a Beastie Boys instrumental. You’ll need some sort of torrent downloading program to get it. There is rarely a day that passes here at the Starcasm office when someone doesn’t yell, “Hey Utah! Get me two!”)