It’s Just Like Old Hampshire but New

Jay Z and Alicia Key’s “Empire State of Mind” is a great anthem that lends itself to potentially equally as great parodies and Christian Wisecarver is up the task with the hilarious “Granite State of Mind.”

With great editing, and solid rhymes, Wisecarver’s parody is also a lesson in New Hampshire. So the granite state where J.D. Salinger hid away from the world for all those years. It’s also where Adam Sandler, Seth Meyers, Sarah Silverman, and the first American to enter space Alan Shepard are from, who knew?

Wisecarver also uses this opportunity to prove that Robert Frost was a rap artist before his time.

Lots of New Hampshire info packed into this little parody.

Full Lyrics:

Yeah, I’m at the Conway
Now I’m down in the Nanchester
Next to Adam Sandler
But I’ll be woods forever
I’m the new Salinger
Cause I could live anywhere
But I choose to live here
The middle of nowhere
I used to shop in Salem
Next to Rockingham Park
Right there up on 28 you find Canobie Lake Park
Bring me up to Portsmith
The Saloon at State Street
Catch me up at Gilley’s
After hours for some late eats
It’s not the Kanca-MA-ngus
It’s the Kanca-Ma’-ngus
It’s a scenic byway that I like to drive in August
Now I’m down at Beford
Home of Seth Meyers here
Also Sarah Silverman
We’re funny motherf**kers here
We like to say “What’s up guy,”
It’s our way to say “Hi”
In February it is good to know a plow guy
It is shaped like a key
Also where I like to ski
Tell by my belt buckle
That I’m most definitely from

New Hampshire
Land where there’s no income or sales tax
There’s nothing much to do
Here in New Hampshire
These trees where leaf-peepers drive to
Maple syrup is front news
This is New Hampshire, Hampshire, Hampshire

Catch me up in Loudon
At the Speedway for the race, yo
I made the flannel shirt more famous than the scarecrow
Don’t drink and drive here
Listen to what I say
Even though we put our liquor stores
Right on the highway
You can drive Mt. Washington
Hike up the mountain
In 1787 we invented the alarm clock
Concord Coach
Start with Coach go downeaster with Amtrak
On Squam Lake Henry Fonda tell ya how to act
Derry’s Alan Shepard, first guy in a spaceship
It’s a pity that Christa McAuliffe didn’t make it
Did you hear about the ice storm of ’08?
I went without power for eleven straight days!
You can buy a handgun
You can buy some fireworks
Sandwich fair, rest in peace Daniel Webster
America’s stonehenge
Long live the dairy trade
Long live the Old Man
I’m from the Granite State that’s

New Hampshire!
Place where Stoneyfield yogurt is made in
And cow tipping’s so cool
Here is New Hampshire
DSL service is brand new
You might even see a moose
Here in New Hampshire, Hampshire, Hampshire . .

Whose woods these are I think I know
His house is in the village though
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake

The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep

That’s some Robert Frost
He’s our most famous poet
It was actually written up in Vermont
But it’s associated with the 603
Where it’s a fact I
Don’t know any hispanics
And just one black guy.

You can go to bike week
That’s up in Laconia
In the winter months
Hit the Notch at the ‘Conia
Home of B.O.D.E.
Our Olympic ski champion
He faced high pressure
Like my man

New Hampshire
If you don’t to wear a helmet
There’s nothing they can do
Here is Hampshire
Markey’s vs. Brown’s
Tell me which one will you choose?
Here in New Hampshire, Hampshire, Hampshire

Ninth state ratified out of all fifty
It can get cool, but still the autumn’s very pretty
When this song makes me rich
Which it will do, right?
Everyone raise their fists and say live free or die!

New Hampshire
Stay where Triple H the wrestler hails from
That guy will destroy you

If you like New Hampshire
It’s just like Old Hampshire, but new
We’re out of jokes to do about New Hampshire