The Playboy Empire is crumbling. A once forward-thinking, scandalous publication is now backward and tame in today’s decadent internet-driven culture and it’s losing lucre faster than Nicholas Cage in a tropical island store. Sales are down 34% from last year, which was a pretty bad year to begin with. Rumors are circulating about potential bankruptcy, sale of the magazine, and even that Hef may have to unload his beloved mansion.
John Mayer probably gave them a mild newsstand boost in 2009 with his ungentlemanly comments about Jessica Simpson’s sexual prowess, but this year they haven’t even had one outrageous celebrity soundbite, or even one Real Housewife on the cover.
So, Hugh Hefner’s trying the ol’ Willy Wonka trick. He’s hidden ten Hef tickets in the Kendra edition of Playboy, and ten lucky winners will get to attend a Midsummer Night’s Dream party, and possibly even have sex with a bunny. It could happen.
Playboy editorial director Jimmy Jelinek imagines scores of men spending their retirement money on copies of the mag just to get this sort of opportunity. He said “We expect people to be fighting in the streets for these copies. It really harks back to another time when gentlemen were gentlemen, and you had to be invited to get in. Plus, it’s sexy as hell.”
Now, finally regular schmoes will get the chance to see his magical river of naked girls, and the anti-gravity room (that’s where the really wild stuff happens).
Photograph: Playboy Magazine, Supplied by PacificCoastNews.com
