We have a winner for a contest that hasn’t even been announced yet! 18-year old Kimberley Vlaminck of Courtrai, Belgium gets our trophy for Biggest Starcasm Fan thanks to the 56 stars tattooed all over the left side of her face!! Here’s the happy victor receiving a phone call from me informing her of the good news:
“…The stars fill up my eyes, Galaxies pour down my cheeks…”)
After winning the fame and fortune associated with being starcasm’s biggest fan (you missed your chance Tami Farrell!) Kimberly seems to be experiencing a starcasm-high hangover as the Daily Mail is reporting she is suing the tattoo artist that made her so starcastic, claiming she only wanted three stars but fell asleep in the chair. (Ah, the face of starcasm is already learning how to play the media!)
The tattoo artist, Rouslan Toumaniantz, claims young Kimberly “asked for 56 stars and that’s what she got.”
Toumaintz, who runs the tattoo parlour called The Tattoo Box in Courtrai, said Kimberley was awake and actually looked in the mirror several times during the procedure to see how it was going.
He said she knew ‘exactly what she wanted’.
‘The trouble all started when she went home and her father and boyfriend threw a fit.”
(Wow – look at that guy! All that tattoo work, all those holes in his face trying to be hip and the only thing he ever really needed to do was get rid of those glasses and shirt. Ten to one that thing has a pocket protector!)
Here’s another photo of the galaxied uber-hottie. The supernova of stardom is exploding right out of her blinged out “SEXY” belt buckle! Who wouldn’t be intimidated by that look of constellation on her face!?!
Kimberly, I know you’re feeling a bit hungover, but I think your method of treatment with lawsuits and potential tattoo removal are the wrong way to go. What you need is a little of the hair of the dog that bit ya! Push the envelope just a little further and you could possess a magical, fairy tale countenance only dreamed of by the likes of Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about! Cornified!
My eyes are tearing up. It’s like I’m staring at the real life Corna Lisa. Kimberly, you are so close to perfection – you owe it to the world and yourself to lift the spirits of the millions and millions in desperate need of some measure of joy and hope in their lives by completing the journey you have undertaken. Or, you could do it because you might as well – what’s a couple of unicorns and a rainbow when your face is already covered in stars?
(I’m on the phone right now with representatives from Showtime negotiating a deal for Kimberly to star in a new show called Galicornification)
****UPDATE**** 6/19/09 – Well, the TV show didn’t work out, but that’s only because Kimberly is going straight to the big screen baby! Check out her new movie here!