Season 5 Bachelorette Finale Results: Jillian Harris Chooses Ed Swiderski

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Okay, so it was down between Kiptyn Locke, and Big Ed Swiderski.

Jillian took them one at a time to meet her family and get interrogated by her mom.  Ed had to explain to them that he left the competition because he’s a workaholic, but the experience taught him there is more to life than work so he came back for Jillian. Ed just happens to the be guy who’s mom convinced him to go on the show because she liked Jillian from The Bachelor. Sweet stories all around. Everyone play with a kitten and stop working so late in Ed’s honor.

During private time with mom Ed revealed that he wants three children. Kiptyn, who interviews with mom and fam next, wants at least two. Jillian’s mom seems more into Kiptyn saying, “I think Kiptyn is more like Jillian. I think he has a similar energy to Jillian… more of a free spirit.” That’s nice, but Kiptyn is having troubles emotionally connecting with Jillian. This is usually bad in a marriage.

They have their last dates so Jillian can decide who to give her heart to, I mean receive a Neil Lane ring from. Mr. Kiptyn has been reluctant to gush about how “in love” with Jillian he is, saying instead that he’s “getting there.” Getting there isn’t gonna win this competition, so he decided to step up his game, telling the camera that he is, indeed “in love” with Jillian. He tells Jillian he wants her to move to San Diego to be with him. How romantic.

It turned out to be too little, too late, because Jillian told him cold to his face that she was in love with someone else during the final rose ceremony. That ‘someone else” being Ed, but it would have been really awesome if she had fallen in love with the sound guy or key grip, or found out that she was a lesbian.

There’s an extra-special surprise before Ed gets to propose when Reid Rosenthal shows up to crash the party. Last episode he was rejected because he failed to reveal his emotions to Jillian, and now he’s back to confess his love. He claims he had to pull “a million strings” to get there, but I’m guessing the producers were more than in on this. I’m sure ANYTHING even remotely dramatic makes the producers of this show salivate like Kirstie Alley catching a whiff of Krispey Kreme 20 miles away.

Unfortunately for ratings, Jillian wasn’t feelin’ the Reid vibe, and rejected him so she could move on to Ed. Ed declared his eternal love for Jill, and she responds “There is no doubt in my mind that I’m madly in love with you. I love you so much.” There were many squeals of joy and hugs and delight all around.

Then he proposes, because as we all know, it is impossible for a woman to propose marriage to a man! That would be ridiculous even though she’s the one who’s choosing one man from a trazillion guys.

Here’s the OMG! moment:

I’m not sure what ABC could have cooked up for the After the Final Rose Special, but whatever it is it couldn’t top Jason Meznick’s fiasco. If Jillian does something like dumping Ed for Reid, that should be the last nail in the coffin of The Bacelor/ette franchise. Everyone will probably just run off to be on Walking Around in Heels with the Semi-Famous and I’m not quite a Celebrity, Please Give Me Relevance and no one will get married anyway.

Also, my money’s on Kiptyn being the next Bachelor.

UPDATE 8/5/09 – There may be trouble in paradise!

~ Carrie Glass

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