Julianne Moore arrived at Wednesday night’s Cannes Film Festival Opening Ceremony looking absolutely gorgeous as usual from head to… ankle? The Golden Globe Award winning actress was wearing a gorgeous strapless Dior dress with a black top and a tailed lilac bottom with sparkling Chopard jewels. But, despite all the eye candy above, my eyes were drawn to the piggy prison break going on down below as Julianne’s littlest piggies attempted to cry “Wee wee wee!” all the way home.

Total Recall (remember that remake?) had its London Premiere today and actress Rebecca Ferdinando showed up in a rather unfortunate little black dress that looked like it had been hastily repaired after a tiger attack – and not in a good way. (Not that there is a good way.) Keep reading to see the full-sized look and find out what we think the infamously brutal Project Runway judges might have said about it!

Julie Kavner, the voice of Marge Simpson, takes home the “Fashion Night Out” worst dressed award after deciding to liven up the meet and greet for the cast of the Broadway production of Relatively Speaking earlier today by wearing a see-through midnight blue top combined with white socks and sandals. (The appropriate response to her fashion choice could only be “D’oh!”)

I love Emma Watson and the way she has matured with classic style into a woman before the public’s eyes but she hit a fashion speed bump at yesterday’s Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 premiere in New York City. See the Bottega Veneta gown that, as you can see looked great from the waist up, but…….. well you just have to see it.

Bonus: Catch my most random side-by-side visual as I compare Emma’s gown to the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto!

Usually when Courtney Love attends an event the hot mess award is locked down but wait one minute all you fashionistas. The new contender to C-Love’s throne, the up-and-comer Hot Topic discount rack representin’ Ke$ha was on hand and she just might have out oh nooooooo’d Courtney. See 3 side-by-side comparisons and decide for yourself who was the hottest mess of all at the amfAR Inspiration Gala!

Clotilde Hesme was more like Clothideous Messme as she arrived for the 2011 Cannes premiere of This Must Be the Place wearing what appears to be two contrasting (and rather boring) dresses sewn together. Keep reading for the full fail Monty as well as my snarky but apologetic commentary that includes a little info on Clotilde’s otherwise impressive resume!

British television presenter Konnie Huq looked to be the victim of death fashion eaters at last night’s premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One! The usually smoking hot brunette was a smoking hot mess as she struck a very unpleasant pose in an unfortunate black and mustard-trimmed dress that looks like something Elaine Benes would buy after seeing it in a skinny mirror.

“Tik Tok” singing pop star Ke$ha has received a ton of negative press for her questionable fashion choices, but during this morning’s Today Show performance in NYC she had an answer: have her dancers wear the most ridiculous get ups imaginable! Amazingly, I think her plan worked!

See the golden show-ers in all their spandex glory, videos of all three songs, a still shot of a woman way too old to be into Ke$ha rocking out, and a very uncomfortable kid dancing.

I’ve just found the centerfold for the next issue of Douche Bagazine! Gossip Girl‘s Corey Feldman/Hugh Hefner mix Ed Westwick showed up on the red carpet of the CBS Summer Press Tour Party looking like Robert Pattinson after he had been soaked in vinegar and water for 2 years! Keep reading for the full douche Monty if you dare!

I see England, I see France, I see…

Perhaps sensing an opening due to Lindsay Lohan’s incarceration, Paris Hilton appears to be throwing her panties into the ring for World’s Biggest Hot Mess! After a couple arrests for pot over the last few weeks, Paris kicked her election campaign into overdrive Friday night at the VIP Room in Saint Tropez, France by chugging booze, singing on stage and putting on one of her infamous crotch shot marathons!