Simon Cowell Breaks Up With His Girlfriend
Sources report it’s because she wanted a baby and he didn’t. (Someone must have told Simon that having a baby requires sex with a woman)
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20237404,00.html
Amy Winehouse Released…Again
Amy’s back out with a few added pounds. (Some photos to hold you over until the next official “Amy Winehouse Update,” which is usually reserved for more dramatic Winehouse events)
http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/trading_crack_for_crackers
****UPDATE - That was quick! Amy’s back in the hospital:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20237460,00.html
“Top Chef” Finalist Asked To Serve Up Alimony
Season 4 runner-up Richard Blais seems to have forgotten about “one in the oven.”
http://www.tmz.com/2008/11/01/top-chef-runner-up-needs-to-pay-up/
Sarah Palin Punked By Canadian Jerky Boys Pretending To Be French President
Nothing we didn’t already know about Sarah Palin, but it is interesting to find out Canada also has asses on the radio.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcEiR01QK7o
Ryan Reynolds Runs NYC Marathon, Wife Scarlett Johansson Not There
No, she wasn’t lost in translation, but campaigning for Obama in Ohio.
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20237431,00.html
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Is there nothing Scarlett Johansson won’t do to avoid having to star in a decent movie?!?! Her latest distraction is a marriage to Ryan Reynolds, which took place Saturday night at a resort in the boonies near Vancouver.
The wedding follows on the heels of Scarlett’s foray into music, the album “Anywhere I Lay My Head,” which features one original song and ten Tom Waits covers. A lot of critics have panned the album, claiming that Scarlett’s completely indistinctive and unimaginative interpretations neuter the rawness of Mr. Waits’ material, but not in a good way. They claim that this vasectomization of some of the ballsiest music ever recorded was an egotistical exercise that wasted the valuable time and efforts of some of the industry’s most talented musicians and producers.
We at starcasm.net completely disagree! We think Scarlett Johansson is HOT! Why should an attractive unqualified woman only be allowed to act, host a reality show, or be the Republican Party’s vice presidential nominee?
Here are Scarlett’s next four rumored projects:
*******UPDATE 09/29/08 - We got a couple emails from folks confused about Scarlett’s album cover above. It’s a reference to one of Tom Waits’ (and history’s) best albums “Mule Variations.” (If you’re feeling brave and want to broaden your horizons and don’t mind if your music ain’t “pretty,” click on the thumbnail below and buy you a copy. You will not be disappointed, unlike buying “Anywhere I Lay My Head.”)
Tom Waits Mule Variations
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