MY 600 LB LIFE Steven Assanti’s naked Facebook updates raise concerns ahead of ‘Where Are They Now’ episode

Steven Assanti, the most controversial figure in My 600 Lb Life history, is back to his bizarre ways ahead of he and brother Justin’s “Where Are They Now?” episode. Despite a brief (and surprising) kind streak this past summer, Steven has lately taken to updating his Facebook page with footage of himself sitting on the toilet, and singing naked while wrapped in Christmas lights, among other curiosities.

LINKS! Paris Hilton got engaged, Carrie Underwood facial surgery, Bale burns Ben’s Batman…

DLISTEDTaylor Swift jacked up the ticket prices for the Reputation tour and is having a harder time selling them than she did for the 1989 tour, but her “Verified Fan” program is probably more than making up the difference in revenue. So, here’s to greed

REALITY TEAEnjoy this photo gallery featuring what a whole bunch of reality stars, from the casts of Vanderpump Rules to Dancing With The Stars to just about every Real Housewife, were doing on New Year’s Eve

CELEBITCHYCarrie Underwood just disclosed that she needed 40 stitches to her face after suffering a bad fall outside her home last November, and her fans are freaking out

JEZEBELTake a breath: Chocolate is probably not actually going to go extinct in the next 50 years, even with climate change denial leading the way

THE BLEMISHThis poor bastard gave the whitest possible pronunciation of “Gangsta” and lost a bunch of money on Jeopardy! as a result

VOXHere’s what California’s newly legal marijuana industry means for legalization in the rest of the United States

VERY SMART BROTHASWhether it actually will be one of the big questions of American life in 2018 is yet to be seen, but one of the big questions of American life in 2018 should be “Why won’t Twitter suspend Donald Trump’s account?”

THE SUPERFICIALParis Hilton’s boyfrield Chris Zylka proposed to her with a $2 million, 20-karat engagement ring…while they were standing on the shady side of a ski resort. Here’s a tip for anyone out there, rich or otherwise, thinking about getting married: Break out the engagement ring in a place where light will actually shine on it

UPROXXChristian Bale’s response to Ben Affleck’s version of Batman — he hasn’t seen it, and he thought his son wanted to see it, “but then I realized he just wanted to see the trailer and that was it” — has me wanting to check the burn center closest to Affleck’s home

LINKS! Mariah Carey not failing, SNL failing badly?, Dave Chappelle controversy…

DLISTEDMariah Carey returned to Times Square for a New Year’s Eve performance and wasn’t terrible

REALITY TEA Ariana Madix says she both was surprised that Jax Taylor cheated on Brittany Cartwright and — wait for it — was totally not at all surprised

JEZEBEL “Over the last 12 months, I have completely transformed my life in an effort to find love. I didn’t.”

VOXHot Take: “Saturday Night Live was the emptiest show of 2017″

UPROXXDave Chappelle used his new Netflix special to say some not especially nice or thoughtful things about Louis CK’s accusers

LINKS! Steve Harvey’s NYE outfit, Chocolate going extinct, Royal Wedding drama…

DLISTEDTamar Braxton’s estranged husband Vincent Herbert was arrested for spousal abuse on Christmas Day and allegedly got another woman pregnant, Happy New Year!

REALITY TEALaLa Kent finally made good on her private jet boasts by taking the Vanderump Rules cast to Vegas in one

CELEBITCHYWillow Smith says growing up famous is “absolutely, excruciatingly terrible,” and based on this explanation we have no reason to doubt her

JEZEBELChocolate will be extinct by 2050 unless science can save it. Given prevailing American attitudes toward science, this is a job for the rest of the world

THE BLEMISHPennsylvania’s huge deer population is apparently such a huge problem that 3,300 Pennsylvanians applied for roadkill permits so they could legally eat the ones they hit with their cars last year. Takeaway: “Roadkill permit” is a thing

VOXThis report on how former Trump aide George Papadopoulos may have kicked off the Russia investigation by getting drunk and bragging about dirt the campaign had on Hillary Clinton is a season-long Veep arc come to life (except funnier, more absurd, and of course more terrifying)

VERY SMART BROTHASAnd speaking of international incidents, apparently Trump is mad that he’s not going to be invited to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding but Barack Obama is

LAINEY GOSSIPBen Affleck is the Scott Disick of JLo and ARod’s relationship (complete with photo receipt goodness)

UPROXXSteve Harvey’s New Year’s Eve outfit was more hilarious than just about all of the jokes it inspired on Twitter

LINKS! Dr. Phil’s drunken guests, Paris Hilton’s home nightclub, Han Solo’s disaster…

DLISTEDBono is under fire for believing that “music has gotten very girly” and that all the “rage” has gone out of rock and roll, but the bigger takeaway should be surprise that anyone thinks Bono has his finger on the pulse of current rock music at all

REALITY TEAKyle Richards and Mauricio Umansky had a million dollars’ worth of jewelry stolen from their California home while they were on Christmas vacation in Colorado

CELEBITCHYThe Han Solo spinoff movie due out next year is apparently the very hottest of messes and Disney has already thrown up its hands

JEZEBELDr. Phil and his staff have allegedly been encouraging guests to get drunk and / or high — one guest, going through heroin withdrawal, says the show’s staff told her where to go to buy some! — for years

THE BLEMISHRihanna is coming for Kylie Jenner’s share of the cosmetics market

VOXHere’s a very simple explanation why it’s so unusually cold outside this month

VERY SMART BROTHASAnd here’s a list of ten reasons why you should throw these ten popular New Year’s Resolutions — none of them related to weight loss — straight into the garbage

THE SUPERFICIALWe missed this because of the holidays, but Paris Hilton had a nightclub built in her house?

UPROXXGuy Fieri’s infamous Times Square restaurant is closing for good, but its infamous zero-star review in the New York Times will live forever (as will this equally infamous mock menu)

LINKS! Meghan Markle’s poop hat, Trump’s crazy 2017, Hamilton on P0rnHub…

DLISTEDIf you’re driving 60 pounds of marijuana across the country and get stopped in Nebraska for a minor traffic offense, telling the cop that the drugs are Christmas presents won’t stop him from confiscating them (or you from getting arrested)

REALITY TEASpeaking of huge, unexpected Christmas gifts, Kandi Burruss’ charity donated 300 presents to six families in need this year

CELEBITCHYIn the “Huge, Yet Totally Expected Gifts” category, Dutchess Kate dropped around $160,000 on clothing for herself over the past year — a surprising amount of it at Old Navy

JEZEBELAnd speaking of the huge and unexpected, here’s a photo of the four-story hot pink dong this Swedish artist just finished painting on the side of a New York City apartment building

THE BLEMISHHere’s one for the anti-dong crowd: The video “revolutionary boys get dirty on american politics part 1” that somebody uploaded to P0rnHub is actually the first act of Hamilton (they should have titled it “History Has Its Thighs ‘Round You”)

VOXHow many of these “nine bizarre things” Donald Trump did in 2017 had *you* forgotten about?

VERY SMART BROTHAS“10 Struggles That Only Men With Big-Ass Beards Will Understand” (#8 will blow your mind)

THE SUPERFICIALIs Meghan Markle wearing a poop emoji hat? And it is weird that I think she’s pulling it off?

UPROXXIf you’re reading this post while stranded on a ride at Disneyland due to the power outage, here’s hoping you’ve at least got an amazing view

LINKS! Christmas Boobs of Instagram, Leo’s new GF, Mindy Kaling gives birth…

DLISTEDMindy Kaling gave birth to her first child and both mother and daughter are healthy, congrats!

REALITY TEABrielle Biermann tweeted that Kim Zolciak is pregnant because Kim shared a video of Brielle’s boobs on Snapchat

CELEBITCHYIt took 48 hours for Taylor Swift’s app to be overrun by “Trump-loving trolls and homophobic comments”

JEZEBELHot take alert: “The Real Housewives are bad now”

THE BLEMISHBy contrast, the number of Christmas boobs overrunning Instagram bring only holiday cheer

VOXOne day after passing a hugely unpopular and grossly unfair tax bill, it’s entirely possible that Congress is about to fumble its way into a government shutdown

VERY SMART BROTHAS“Playing the National Anthem Before Sporting Events Is a Stupid and Silly Tradition and We Need To Stop Doing It”

THE SUPERFICIAL43-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio’s new girlfriend Camila Morrone is a 20-year-old model, so his now-decades long streak of dating models under the age of 25 is still going strong

UPROXXCardi B went on Jimmy Fallon last night and made an interview about engagement rings and lotion use one of his most entertaining moments all year