There will officially me more love after Love After Lockup! WE tv announced today that their new prison romance reality series will be returning for an expanded 10-episodes season in 2019.
VERY SMART BROTHAS – Do yourself a favor and check out 85-year-old Quincy Jones’ delightfully batsh!t new interview, in which he makes the following claims: The Beatles sucked; Michael Jackson stole songs; Marlon Brando and Richard Pryor had sex; the mafia killed JFK; and Ivanka Trump, “wrong father” or not, has “the most beautiful legs [he] ever saw”
LAINEY GOSSIP – Tom Hardy is completely unf*ckwithable, but the just-released trailer for Venom is kind of a hot mess. Instead of yet another comic book super / anti-hero movie, can Tom Hardy star in a movie about a man who rescues puppies from inbound natural disasters and helps them through their puppy PTSD with the power of cuddles? It would be like We Bought A Zoo meets Castaway. But fun!
REALITY TEA – Ramona Singer’s ex-husband Mario tried to evict his former mistress Kasey Dexter from their Boca Raton apartment, then had to call the cops to get her to actually leave. The next season of RHONY is currently filming, so some version of this may make it onto the show
JEZEBEL – Bill Cosby’s legal team is trying to disallow testimony from new accusers in Cosby’s sexual assault case, claiming that the women’s stories would be “highly prejudicial” for the jury. Cue facepalm
THE BLEMISH – San Diego had to institute an official “Don’t Kill The Homeless” policy after a garbage truck accidentally picked up a can with a homeless person inside and nearly crushed the person to death
VOX – Jeff Sessions is afraid of marijuana the way Abe Simpson is afraid of skateboards. It’s almost cute until you remember that the drug policies he’s pushing were outdated 20 years ago, meaning Sessions is the political equivalent of the Fuller House reboot — something nobody really asked for and, now that they’ve seen it, nobody really wants
UPROXX – Last year, SteelHouse CEO Mark Douglas gave everyone in his company a three-day weekend in every month that didn’t already have one and threw in a $2,000 yearly vacation allowance. Since then, employee happiness and productivity have skyrocketed, since it turns out people really do like money and time off. #MakeAmericaEuropeForOnce
DLISTED – There are currently three Hollywood movies about Charles Manson and the Manson Family murders in production right now. Since you’re probably going to choose which one to care about based on who’s in it, just know that of them will be directed by Quentin Tarantino; one of them stars Matt “Doctor Who” Smith; and one of them will feature Hilary Duff playing Sharon Tate in the lead
CELEBITCHY – And speaking of Hilary Duff, Sharon Tate’s sister Debra is not pleased with Duff for taking the part of Sharon in the third Manson-related film, which is currently entitled The Haunting of Sharon Tate. Among the things Debra said: “It doesn’t matter who it is acting in it – it’s just tasteless. It’s classless how everyone is rushing to release something for the 50th anniversary of this horrific event.”
CELEBUZZ – Finally, in vaguely Manson-adjacent news, Mariah Carey’s sister Alison claims their mother raised them in a cult and taught them “satanic rituals” and that she and Mariah were “exposed to sexual activity and [animal] sacrifices” while growing up
CELEBITCHY – Donya Fiorentino, who was married to Gary Oldman from 1997 until 2001, is now openly accusing Oldman of abusing her in front of their children: “Our marriage was a giant car crash in which demented things happened….I would rather get eaten by a great white shark than go through that marriage again.”
JEZEBEL – And speaking of terrible things in retrospect, here’s the 2003 interview in which Quentin Tarantino defends Roman Polanski against claims Polanski forced himself upon a 13-year-old girl. Among Tarantino’s defenses: “She wanted to have it” and “She was down with this.”
REALITY TEA – Stassi Schroeder revealed that the former flame who tried to peddle her sex tape is none other than Frank Herlihy, who featured on Pump Rules‘ first season before apparently shuffling off to upstate New York, where he now works at a deli. “So, you’re fine.” -The fan of Stassi’s who told her this
THE BLEMISH – David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, who created the television version of Game of Thrones for HBO, are going to create an entirely new, non-Luke-and-Leia-and-Han-based series of Star Wars movies for Disney…
UPROXX – …but Disney is *also* planning an entirely separate line of Star Wars TV shows for their streaming service. Thanks to those, the brand-new Star Wars movies not yet in production, and the ones already coming out literally every year for the next three or four, whatever juice was left in this once-precious fruit is about to be squeezed out by a mechanical hand and packaged into oblivion
VOX – In a report since confirmed by the Pentagon, Donald Trump wants the American military to plan a big flashy parade for the American people to gawk at. Surprise detail: Rather than being inspired by a Russian show of force, Trump was apparently super impressed by the display France put on for their Bastille Day celebrations last summer. Basically, don’t be surprised if we start celebrating Fourth of July #2 this year
VERY SMART BROTHAS – Enjoy this explainer on the difference between “hungry” and “thirsty,” which comes with helpful Drake and Miley Cyrus examples for your learning pleasure
LAINEY GOSSIP – Here’s Robert Pattinson working out shirtless and possibly shilling for an Antiguan beach resort while he does so. He looks more like a cub than a tiger to me, but to each his own heat
CELEBUZZ – Either Heidi Montag is pregnant again or Spencer Pratt is trying to play coy for attention. Since the Kardashians already trolled that game into exhaustion, let’s hope it’s the former
DLISTED – Rob Gronkowski’s house got burglarized while Gronk was out of town for the Super Bowl. Anti-Philly fan theories currently percolating in the Boston metro area
DLISTED – Pepsi is following the hygiene industry’s lead and developing a snack chip just for women. (ICYMI: Pepsi owns Frito-Lay and Doritos.) CEO Indra Nooyi seems to think that women don’t like the fact that Cheeto powder sticks to your fingers and you have to lick it off…but isn’t that the best part about eating Cheetos?
REALITY TEA – Former RHONJ star Dina Manzo is getting dragged a little bit for the advice she gave Kylie Jenner upon the birth of Kylie’s first child. But the advice amounts to “Don’t make having a kid at 20 look too glamorous since you have it super easy and your fans are impressionable,” which seems like a pretty sensible, telling-it-like-it-is-on-a-sitcom thing to say
CELEBITCHY – Justin Timberlake’s Prince tribute at the Super Bowl halftime show was definite pandering, considering the two had a longstanding beef. Also, Timberlake’s outfit was both ugly and ridiculous — you can’t wear a vaguely camo-looking suit on top of a shirt with deer on it. The idea is to not get shot by hunters
THE BLEMISH – No, McDonald’s French fries do not cure baldness, help make you thinner, and lower your blood pressure. If they did, America’s current president would appear to the rest of the world the way he sees himself in the mirror
JEZEBEL – Tom Golisano, a billionaire, is so enraged that by the geese that poop on his upstate New York property that he’s refusing to pay a $90,000 school tax until authorities step in and deal with the problem. “Deal with” apparently means “Kill all the geese, since how else do you stop them (or anything!) from pooping? Plus, couldn’t he just apply for a hunting license and take care of this problem in one weekend? The ensuing cookout would be a lot more endearing than withholding $90,000 from kids
VOX – Speaking of goose poop, Ram took a Martin Luther King Jr. speech about as far out of context as they possibly could in using it to sell trucks with their Super Bowl commercial. Here’s what the speech actually says
VERY SMART BROTHAS – And here’s why Ram taking Martin Luther King Jr.’s words about as far out of context as they possibly could in using it to sell trucks with their Super Bowl commercial matters
LAINEY GOSSIP – The trailer for the new Jurassic Park movie debuted during the Super Bowl. It looked neat! But it revealed the inherent flaw in the franchise’s formula: it’s pretty much the same premise in every movie. (See also: Home Alone; Star Wars)
CELEBUZZ – Here are the best memes involving the #SelfieKid who was more absorbed with his phone than Justin Timberlake dancing next ho him at the Super Bowl halftime show
UPROXX – And here’s every Super Bowl commercial in one place, complete with a handy list of winning and losing commercials for you to argue over
DLISTED – A Florida Man Was Arrested For Planning To Kidnap Lana Del Ray
REALITY TEA – Love After Lockup Recap: Baby Mama Drama
CELEBITCHY – Uma Thurman tells her #MeToo story about Harvey Weinstein & Quentin Tarantino
JEZEBEL – Kim Cattrall’s Brother Has Been Found Dead
THE BLEMISH – Hero Father is Unfortunately Stopped From Attacking Larry Nassar In Open Court
IN TOUCH – Fifty Shades Freed Actress Arielle Kebbel Asks For Help to Find Her Missing Sister Julia
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – Southern Charm Star Cameran Eubanks Declares She’s Quitting Breastfeeding, Tells Mom-Shamers to Kick Rocks
MTV and Jersey Shore creators 495 Productions are taking yet another stab at winning the ratings lottery with a crew of 20-somethings vacationing and partying together. This time around they are switching seasons from spring to winter and switching locations from Seaside Heights and Panama City to the Hunter Mountain ski resort in New York. Keep reading to check out the first preview trailer for Winter Break: Hunter Mountain and check out photos of all the cast members — complete with Instagram links!
Cue the wedding bells (or the Moroccan equivalent) because 90 Day Fiance star Nicole Nafziger is getting married! To Azan! In Morocco! Or, at least, that’s her plan.
DLISTED – Tom Hanks is going to play Mr. Rogers in a forthcoming biopic called You Are My Friend. It sounds like this particular movie might avoid the biopic’s cardinal sin of trying to cram an entire life into two-and-a-half bloated Oscar-intended hours, and will instead focus on a brief period in Mr. Rogers’ life. Good news all around!
REALITY TEA – Stephen McGee claims his recently avowed enemy and Summer House co-star Carl Radke “f*cked Scheana Marie” back in early December, though he gave some eyebrow-raising details as evidence
CELEBITCHY – Apparently Lorde didn’t perform at the Grammys because the powers that be only asked her to sing as part of the Tom Petty tribute and not to do a song solo. Though Lorde was up for Album of the Year, the show’s producer defended the decision by saying “We can’t have every nominee perform.” To which any rational observer might respond: Why did the other AOTY nominees get to do so?
JEZEBEL – Among the praise Nicole Kidman had for the bugs she ate on-camera for a Vanity Fair piece: “Awesome. Like nothing you’ve ever tasted. Like…a hairy…nut.”
THE BLEMISH – It really *is* easy to forget that Blue Ivy is just six years old in this clip of her shushing her parents at the Grammys…
VERY SMART BROTHAS – …until you see the pics of Beyonce holding snacks and a juice box for her daughter during commercial breaks
VOX – The Cleveland Indians are going to stop using their mascot, Chief Wahoo, beginning with the 2019 baseball season. Dan Snyder’s double-down response forthcoming
LAINEY GOSSIP – The dance Rihanna was doing at the Grammys is called Gwara Gwara; it’s from South Africa. Here’s that, plus a photo gallery of the woman doing what she does
UPROXX – Norm Macdonald is apparently going to join the ranks of David Letterman with his very own talk show on Netflix. The only thing that could be better is if Norm just became Dave’s permanent guest