Daily Starbuzz

Kara Del Toro's bikini spread 2

LINKS! Kara Del Toro’s bikini spread, RIP ‘Cash Me Ousside,’ FitBit solves murders…

DLISTED Madonna is pissed that she’s the subject of a forthcoming biopic, possibly because she’s not dead yet

REALITY TEA The Little Women LA cast vacationed in Alaska together and they have the slide show to prove it

JEZEBEL Uncultured Alex Jones has been reduced to picking fights with a Greek yogurt billionaire

CELEBITCHY Serena Williams’ response to Ilie Natstase’s racism is a perfectly executed backhand

THE BLEMISH The ‘Cash me ousside’ girl is now Bart Simpson after he went on Late Night with Conan O’Brien

VOX Other than every single national park closing indefinitely, here’s a list of everything that might happen if the US government shuts down on Friday

CELEBSLAM Kara Del Toro went to the beach on vacation, so, bikini photos

UPROXX A tip for all aspiring murders: Dispose of the victim’s FitBit, lest its data contradict your alibi

LINKS! Ariel Winter mostly clothed, Elton John’s near-death recovery, Melania Kardashian…

Premiere Of Sony Pictures' "Smurfs: The Lost Village"

DLISTED LeAnn Rimes is as happy to be married to Eddie Cibrian as Zoolander is to be good looking

REALITY TEA “Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright went to Florida and got matching tattoos together” sounds like a recipe for disaster but they actually turned out pretty good?

JEZEBEL Sir Elton John was near death for a minute *sharp intake of breath* but is now recovering nicely *collective exhale*

CELEBITCHY The Vanity Fair “exposé” on Melania Trump is mostly just gossip and rumor, meaning she’s officially on the Kardashians’ level

THE BLEMISH Ariel Winter can and will wear minimal clothing whenever she wants, and the SEO harvesters among us will forever worship at her feet for it

VOX Barack Obama is playing the very, very long game

VERY SMART BROTHAS Henrietta Lacks’ legacy is only going to get more complicated now that even more people who aren’t her family are profiting from it

THE SUPERFICIAL The best thing about Amber Heard and Elon Musk going public with their bangery is the Nikola Tesla joke in this article, so enjoy

UPROXX “Tupac is an official member of the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame” is a weird thing to write on several levels

LINKS! Tove Lo topless at Coachella, Will Smith as Genie, the $400 juicer goes viral…

Tove Lo topless at Coachella 2

DLISTED Will Smith would have been best as Genie in an Aladdin movie twenty years ago, but better late than never I guess

REALITY TEA Kathryn Dennis thinks she has more southern charm than her producers are willing to air

JEZEBEL If you were a well-to-do woman in the 19th century, what you’d do is you’d have your husband kill an elephant and fashion one tusk into an impressive dildo, which was of course called a “Ladies Companion”

CELEBITCHY Julia Roberts has been People‘s Most Beautiful Woman at ages 23, 32, 37, 42, and now for the fifth time at 49

THE BLEMISH Celebrity Boobs of Coachella, Part Two: Tove Lo Topless edition

VOX West Virginians, rejoice: Yours is now the 29th state where medical marijuana is legal

UPROXX There is a juicer that costs $400 and all it does is squeeze bags of pre-made juice into a glass instead of actually turning fruit into juice for you. And here are some measured, perfectly reasonable reviews of this $400 juicer

LINKS! Coachella’s celebrity boobs, Gwen Stefani’s Easter controversy, Atlanta keeps exploding…

Coachella's celebrity boobs 2

DLISTED Richard Hatch is no longer the most hated gay villain in Survivor history

REALITY TEA The first part of the RHOA reunion special went heavy on vaginas and prosthetic camel toes

JEZEBEL If you’re young enough to generate babies and chill enough to be on the receiving end of a 70-year-old baronet’s death-defying thrusts, apply for marriage within

CELEBITCHY Gwen Stefani wore a miniskirt to Easter Mass; let’s talk about it

THE BLEMISH Celebrity boobs were out in force for Coachella

VOX The city of Atlanta is having problems keeping its roads from exploding

THE SUPERFICIAL Here’s Karrueche Tran wearing a bikini and making some course corrections

VERY SMART BROTHAS Don’t try to make sense of Cleveland murderer Steve Stevens blaming an ex-girlfriend for his actions

UPROXX Robert “Forrest Gump” Pope has been running across America for seven months and 5,400 miles now

Film Independent Spirit Awards 2017

LINKS! Orlando Bloom’s penis, Bill O’Reilly’s last show, Amy Schumer’s nihilism…

DLISTED Melania Trump is now $2.9 million closer to freedom

CELEBITCHY Amy Schumer declares “Life isn’t that fun.” And who in America in 2017 can muster a full-throated argument to the contrary?

VERY SMART BROTHAS Life is also not fair, but here’s a 1,000-word mic drop on Sean Spicer’s mediocrity to help get you through

VOX Bill O’Reilly may have shouted down his last guest

JEZEBEL “Imagine one of those complex modern multi-agency investigations involving violent motorcycle gangs with their fingers in narcotics and illegal weapons and God knows what else, but swap in rogue midwives, fortune-tellers, dodgy priests—and poisoners. The book reads like Law and Order: 17th Century Parisian Poisoners Unit.

REALITY TEA Gizelle Bryant thinking she’s not that shady is your guffaw of the evening

THE BLEMISH Orlando Bloom’s penis? Orlando Bloom’s penis

THE SUPERFICIAL Tit for tat: here’s Olivia Culpo’s breasts

UPROXX Oh, ‘Sioux Chef,’ I get it

LINKS! Janelle Monae’s sex proposal, Kylie’s Kardashian obsolescence, Lourdes Leon in a bikini…

The 89th Annual Academy Awards Arrivals

CELEBITCHY Janelle Monae has been reading Lysistrata and taking good notes

DLISTED The rest of the Kardashians are upset that Kylie has the whole rest of her life to become irrelevant while they’re almost there

REALITY TEA Dorinda Medley has your latest round of RHONY gossip

JEZEBEL Apparently the annual White House Easter Egg Roll is too complicated a feat for the current administration

THE BLEMISH Lourdes Leon put on a bikini-tastic show in Miami this week

VOX Whoever runs Royal Jordanian Airlines’ social media accounts is doing a brilliant job trolling United Airlines and the President of the United States

UPROXX Charles Barkley paid a TNT staffer $1,000 to cut off his man bun on live TV, and he had a really good time doing it

THE SUPERFICIAL Here’s Nicole Ritchie getting slapped in the face

LINKS! Cindy Crawford’s amazing bikini bod, Barry Manilow comes out, Chicago Mayor Chance The Rapper…

Cindy Crawford's amazing bikini body

DLISTED Barry Manilow came out of the closet! And he and his secret partner of several decades are very happy! And his partner’s name is Gary, so there’s a feel-good chuckle for you as well

JEZEBEL Feist has a new album coming out and the first single is fan-Feisting-tstic

REALITY TEA Maybe Gizelle’s beef with Charisse will be the thing that kick-starts RHOP’s engine

THE BLEMISH Cindy Crawford still looks better in a bikini than most people do at the altar

CELEBITCHY “Complicit Ivanka” is the new “Crooked Hillary”

VOX  Science proves walking can be just as beneficial as running, so lazy people just lost their biggest excuse

VERY SMART BROTHAS How do I catcall thee? Let me count the ways

THE SUPERFICIAL Here’s the award winner for “Best Headline About David Schwimmer’s Split From His Wife”

UPROXX “Chicago Mayor Chance The Rapper” is a thing we should all get used to hearing

LINKS! Adrienne Bailon’s cleavage, Poop-flinging chimpanzee, RHOP humpathon…

Adrienne Bailon's cleavage

THE BLEMISH – Adrienne Bailon’s top is shrunken like a Grinch’s heart

CELEBITCHY – After 74 days in office, The Donald Trump Golf Counter stands at 14 Outings

VERY SMART BROTHAS – Here’s a thoughtful and entertaining explanation of why criticism is a good thing and it also channels a hilarious bit Steve Martin did on SNL back in the day

DLISTED – This chimpanzee threw a handful of poop into the crowd at the zoo and hit a grandmother in the face and yes, it is hilarious, here’s the video

VOX – S-Town is a brilliant if ethically murky podcast

JEZEBEL – Rashida Jones has a new show called Claws, it’s about a pack of murderous Floridian manicurists, and the trailer is pretty entertaining

REALITY TEA – The Real Housewives of Potomac Season 2 premiere featured a whole lot of charitable humping

UPROXX – In the “And No One Was Surprised” department, Bob Dylan wore a black hoodie to accept his Nobel Prize