Sarah Palin stepping down as governor of Alaska would usually be a shoe-in for The Late Show with David Letterman’s Top Ten List, but since his recent beat-down in the media and resulting apologies to Mrs. Palin, Dave won’t come within a hundred miles of this story! So, I thought I might attempt to fill the void with “Starcasm’s Top Ten List of Possible Reasons Sarah Palin Stepped Down as Governor of Alaska” – complete with visual aids!
10. She’s fulfilling a lifelong desire to travel the globe, hoping to visit all three continents by the end of 2009.
9. In a continued effort to make her Katie Couric interview seem better than it was, Sarah will be launching All of ‘Em Magazine.
8. She and 2012 running mate Carrie Prejean have entered an intense two-year program to learn how to answer interview questions in a manner not considered “horrible.”
7. To combat Jon Stewart’s popularity, she will be hosting a humorous current events talk show on Fox News called The Paley Show.
6. She’s just doing her small part to make Barack Obama look bad by increasing the unemployment rate.
5. She has joined the cast of Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Alaska.
4. She’s starting her own lipstick company called Pitbulline.
3. Details are unclear, but she bought a helicopter and a rifle just after she started referring to former son-in-law Levi as “The Wolf.”
2. She stands to make millions doing appearances posing as Tina Fey impersonating Sarah Palin.
And, the number on possible reason why Sarah Palin resigned as governor of Alaska…
1. She’s been cast in yet another remake of the Raquel Welch classic One Million Years BC. The former governor hopes her appearance will help promote two theories: that humans and dinosaurs co-existed and that Sarah Palin looks damn good in a caveman bikini. (Stephen Baldwin will co-star as a young John McCain)
Uhhhmm Doug. Since you apparently don’t know, OUR president, Barack Obama, was born in Hawaii. Granted he only had two years in the US Senate before taking office as president, but he did graduate with highest honors from Harvard Law School, so I’d say that trumps Sarah Palin’s two scandel-ridden years as Governor of the State of Alaska. Traveling to other countries is a very important part of the job when you’re president of the US, but you’re right – Palin probably wouldn’t be doing that. Instead, she’d be buying $10,000 Dresses at taxpayers expense. Oh, one other thing, in case you haven’t noticed – Obama has a liiiiiiittle bit better command of the facts than Sarah Palin.
This is hilarious…..and so true, I bet!
actually, she’s gone hiking on the Appalachian Trail:-)
Perhaps she’ll get lost?
Just kidding, of course.
This is a really great top ten list, Sarah Palin is a joke (literally) and Alaskans are probably better off. I’m still waiting for a bombshell to be dropped that explains the real reason why she quit. Anyone can post their own list to our site http://www.toptentopten.com/. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list.
I love this a lot. I think I got in trouble for reposting it on my blog
but you are too funny. I definitely check this for some good laughs.
PS Brian/Doug: Maybe not in office, but at least Obama didn’t waste my taxpayer dollars while campaigning… and any talk of the bailouts let’s remember Bush/Republicans were the ones first fighting for it. They’re just mad now cuz their buddy’s didn’t get the money. He won fair and square by all measurements get over it already.
you are waaaaayyy funnier than Lou Dobbs
Thank you Sue!! My slogan is complete:
“Starcasm.net: almost as funny as David Letterman, waaaaayyy funnier than Lou Dobbs.”
Perfect.
Corrine,
you seem simply defensive over your obvious love for “The Obama”. Why you tell Doug and everyone else one Good thing of significance that your hero has done in office.
One more thing, Doug, if you are so smart, run for president yourself. You offer much criticism, but no solutions. That makes you a hypocrit.
Doug, another thing. Why do you people that seem to hate Mr. Obama always bring him up, no matter what someone else is talking about. I think maybe you and about 5 other people in America actually care about Mr. Obama’s birth certificate. Were you born in America? You sure worried about that. Please get over this hate of a man that has done nothing personally wrong to you. Mr. Obama is only trying to help this country. Why do you people constantly keep saying otherwise. I did not hear from you guys when good ole boy Bush was destroying the country.
That was almost as funny as David Letterman. Loved it.
Corrine – I think I might start using part of your comment as a slogan! “Almost as funny as David Letterman.” Now, I just need someone else to say I’m waaaaaay funnier than Lou Dobbs.
Careful Doug, your jealousy of Mr. Obama is showing. He has enough experience, he won, and I know he did not try and fool anybody. Even white people are tired of old fat white men telling everybody what to do. Now, go to bed and quit whinning, you baby.
what do you know about your president except that you think he is cool.do you know where he was born.what did he vote for before.how much experience does he have in public office? liberals attack anyone who is a threat to their beliefs.maybe palin would not be getting her experience by flying the big jet all over the world at our cost.
Ummmm…what?
All political beliefs aside, Sarah Palin is funny. Rod Blagojevich is a democrat and he’s also funny. Joe Lieberman is pretty much independent but he’s not so funny. Be angry at me for not being original by jumping on Sister Sarah, but please don’t infer that she’s a “threat to my beliefs” or some such nonsense.
I gotta go with yzkrak. This is inspired.
This is genius.
It’s funny you should mention Stephen Baldwin! Actually, it’s inherently funny anytime someone mentions Stephen Baldwin, but even more so here because the real reason Palin stepped down is her thinking “I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!” (I’m embarrassed to know Stephen Baldwin was on that show)
Great post. Love the Pitbulline product line.
Love it–except I think Palin’s a young-earther (and Stephen Baldwin probably is, too), meaning she thinks humans and dinosaurs co-existed just three thousand years ago, not one million…
I think movie executives tried out “One Thousand Years BC” but test audiences weren’t too excited – too many assumed it would be about pyramids or chariot races and those are so three years ago.