42-year old Janet Jackson is surprisingly tabloid fit and we’re having a hard time keeping pace! In an attempt to keep up with Amy Winehouse (tabloid gold medalist in the 100 meter), Jackson had her beau Jermaine Dupri vomit on her clothing at his 36th birthday celebration. Dupranet (our affectionate name for the celebrity couple – it was either that or Jermaine Jackson) was out celebrating Dupri’s 36th birthday when the mixture of Ace of Spades Champagne and Patron tequila relocated from Dupri’s belly to Jackson’s lap. Miss Janet left the scene in a hurry, probably to place her clothes in a large Winehouse Brand dress bag. Also at the party were Ice T, Ne-Yo and Busta Rhymes, which should serve as a valuable reminder to all of us that our friends have boring names.

In perhaps an unrelated incident, perhaps not, JanJack was admitted to a Montreal hospital Monday evening. Miss Jackson (if you’re nasty) was released two hours later, but had to cancel her concert scheduled for later that night. Her representatives have yet to divulge any details about what was wrong, but we’re guessing it was a case of mylapic vomitosis. Jackson’s Wednesday and Thursday shows in Boston and Philadelphia have been postponed, but she plans on making it back for her show on Saturday in Greensboro, NC.

Way to go JJ! Back in the public eye! Now let’s see if you can’t flash us with a body part other than your breast – we’re DESPERATELY wanting to nickname you Vuh-JJ! You have to do it! It’s either you or Joan Jett, and noooooobody wants that.

*****UPDATE 10/02/08 – Someone sent an email asking what was wrong with Mr. “T” and what in the world that had to do with Janet Jackson. D’oh! We assumed everyone had seen JJ’s recent tour and her efforts to pay tribute to the Mohawk “Rhythm” Nation:

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