Melania and Donald certainly seem like two people headed for a divorce

Melania and Donald Trump have never seemed more distant from one another or less concerned about how that distance comes across via the cameras recording their every move. Now, thanks to the ongoing Stormy Daniels fallout and Melania’s near-constant swatting of Donald’s hands — not to mention the 25+ detailed sexual misconduct allegations lodged against the President — the two have spawned an entire subgenre of journalism dedicated to chronicling what looks increasingly like their inevitable divorce.

Of course, Melania and Donald and the affection they may or may not have for each other have been the subject of gossip ever since Inauguration Day…

…and that gossip seemingly intensifies every time Melania and Donald travel abroad…

…or, really, whenever they walk outside of the White House together. Earlier today, for example while approaching Marine One for a trip to Ohio, Melania spun away from Donald’s grip and crossed in front of his path like a kidnapped heiress evading her captors on a promenade. It was…awkward.

That particular escape actually happened *after* Spinter kicked off a frenzy of speculation with a viral article entitled simply “Melania Trump Is Done With The Donald.” The basic gist of their take is that, in addition to the countless awkward interactions we only sampled from above, Melania and Donald are bound for a split because the $130,000 he allegedly paid former porn star Stormy Daniels to keep quiet about their equally alleged affair came as a total surprise to Melania and embarrassed her to the point of vindictiveness.

After news of the payment broke, Melania basically canceled every public appearance and instead went to Mar-A-Lago to stew. She only reemerged to attend the State of the Union last week, but didn’t travel to the speech with her husband. (Melania also, per the New York Times visited the Holocaust Museum instead of traveling to Davos with the president.)

From there, the piggybacking began: THG followed on the heels of Splinter’s piece with an article comparing Melania and Donald’s marriage to a Faustian bargain, while People made hay of Donald ditching Melania to ogle cheerleaders at a Super Bowl party.

Even Washingtonian got in on the game, speculating openly about how a First Divorce would play out. (In fairness, we should point out that their article came out before Splinter’s, but after the Times piece on Melania’s embarrassment.)

Among the other evidence pointing toward a supposed Melania and Donald split: for one thing, they didn’t celebrate their 13th wedding anniversary on January 22nd — at least not publicly. And the anniversary itself came two days after Melania raised just about every observer’s eyebrows with the photo she used to celebrate the one-year anniversary of Donald’s inauguration on her official Instagram account:

But if photographic speculation is your jam, you probably already know that Melania’s Instagram account is chock full of curious pics. Consider this upload, in which Melania and Donald manage to mostly be in the same room together on Christmas Eve:

Or this one, which captured them marveling over the brilliance of nature during the total eclipse:

Or this other one where they stood next to each other and enjoyed a romantic setting like people who seem totally at ease in each other’s presence:

Gorgeous Friday evening in #Taormina #Sicily #G7

A post shared by First Lady Melania Trump (@flotus) on

Or this now-classic image of Melania and Donald using protection on Inauguration Day:

And honestly, it’s almost moot at this point whether Melania and Donald actually do become the first First Couple to divorce while in office. Melania Trump is a woman who was believed to be so unhappy in her marriage and position as First Lady that a batsh!t crazy conspiracy theory claiming she’d been replaced by a body double so she wouldn’t have to do it anymore got mainstream media coverage for several days. She had to deny a report that she cried tears of sadness on Election Night. She and her husband allegedly sleep in separate bedrooms. All Melania really wants is wealth and seclusion. She would switch with Hillary Clinton in a heartbeat.

(Photo credits: Melania and Donald via Splash News)


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  • Ivy

    She won’t divorce him. She’s already waited 13 years for the old man to keel over she’ll wait a few more. Most of the misery is probably because Trump businesses are damaged by the clown’s antics and she now faces a slightly smaller inheritance.

  • cininne

    I read somewhere that they were headed for divorce before he decided to run. He needed her to put on a united front and he has been paying her off to stay with him through his presidency. Supposedly as soon as he is out of office she is gone and taking Baron with her. Can’t wait to see this play out.

  • TurkeyBacon

    Bill and Hillary are still “married”, so these two certainly will stay that way for several more years also. Political expediency and all that.

  • FYO

    She’s obviously disgusted by him, as is most of Earth.