DLISTED – Director Lars Von Trier says no, he did not sexually abuse Björk
REALITY TEA – If you’re in the market for a 9,000 square foot home and have $3.5 million to blow, Melissa Gorga of RHONJ would like a word
CELEBITCHY – Ben Affleck went to church for guidance over his many sexual harassment allegations
JEZEBEL – The congressional candidate who says she was abducted by “blonde, well-dressed aliens” lives where? In Florida, of course
THE BLEMISH – Colin Kaepernick, the Harriet Beecher Stowe of the 21st century, has filed a grievance against all 32 NFL owners
VOX – Bowe Berghdal pleads guilty
VERY SMART BROTHAS – How black is the Black Panther trailer? These fifteen shades of black
THE SUPERFICIAL – Here’s Chris Hemsworth shirtless and wearing wet pants through which you can see his junk, enjoy
UPROXX – Finally, the number of women accusing Matt Mondanile, ex-guitarist for Real Estate, of sexual assault is eight and rising
(Photo credit: Chris Hemsworth’s visible penis via News Pictures / WENN.com)