Tila Tequila launches GoFundMe so she can ‘upgrade to TARGET where all the rich, nice, white people shop’

Tila Tequila holding sign Will be crazy for food

Tila Tequila is embracing her headline-grabbing persona as a more-than-slightly crazy time-traveling Flat Earther from another dimension–and, now, she is trying to convert her cuckoo into cold cash with a crowd funding campaign to help cover the cost of moving and buying new furniture.

To try to post excerpts would be an absolute insult to this artist of the absurd, so I will present Tila’s request for financial assistance in its entirety. I will lead off with the fundraising campaign‘s initial description, which is tee-totally off the rails:

Hello Flat-Earther’s!

I have been defeated by the Government and their bio-weapon attacks against me for the past few years ever since I got assassinated, and killed in 2012 then was replaced with a clone! Right now I fear for my baby’s life so I am tired of shopping at Wal-mart, and would like to upgrade to TARGET where all the rich, nice, white people shop. My daughter and I would feel really safe there, but we need your help! I am also moving into a different house where there is a lot of white people in the area so I know they won’t kill us! I am a struggling single mother after all, and I just want to make sure my baby has proper blankets, and warm winter clothes and hot food on the table. This would not only help her recieve that, but it would also help me give up Moutain Dew that I sometimes buy at Wal-Mart on Saturdays, and we alll know that causes brain damage and tooth decay!!!! Please, world, if you have a soul left in ya you would help us achieve this! WITH THE POWER OF MY MIND TRANSFERRED TO YOURS YOU ARE NOW COMPELLED TO HELP MY POOR LITTLE BABY, AND I! Once we reach this goal I will give everyone a virtual tour of our new home!!!! Thank you so much grom the Galactic Federation Super Council of 9 and Tila Tequila.

Peace in the Middle East,
Tila Tequila and Mother of 1 to Isabella Monroe Nguyen, No father.

ps- PLEASE SHARE THIS SO THE WORLD CAN JOIN IN ON THIS MASS AWAKENING!

 

Tila Tequila daughter GoFundMe

Tila’s original campaign was shut down, but she was allowed to restart it after explaining that it wasn’t a joke. In her second description, Tila tones down the lunacy just a bit:

Hello Everyone!

I had a previous GoFundMe account, but it got taken down because I guess I was trying to be funny to make people laugh, but then people thought I was joking so they reported me, and had my account suspended. HOWEVER, they gave me another chance to re-write the reasons why I am asking for help.

The reason why I am creating this GoFundMe campaign is because they have raised the rent at my old home to $4,500 a month, and being a single mother without any support from the father, it can sometimes be very tough taking care of 2 people with only a 1 person income.

So right now I need to raise some money so that I can move into my new home and get it furnished for my daughter and I. The last apt I was at came fully furnished and that’s why it was so expensive, but I’d rather save money for my daughter than keep wasting money each month like that. So I basically need to buy all the furniture and beddings from scratch to start over if we are to move. It is going to cost a lot to start off, and that is why I am asking you all for your help!

I have zero pride or ego when it comes to taking care of my daughter because this is what real good mother’s do. We sacrifice for our children and would take care of them by any means possible. Even if that means being a celebrity, and creating a GoFundMe campaign to get hep from my fans. Most people would be so ashamed or embarrassed, but I’m not. This is for my daughter so we won’t be homeless and she won’t starve. It’s not easy raising a child alone, but I am doing the best that I can to give her the world, and beyond! Thank you so much for listening, and thank you so much for your help!

As soon as we hit this goal I will give everyone a live tour of our new home and the beautiful furniture and beddings! May the Lord bless you beautiful people!

Love Always,
Tila Tequila Mother of Isabella Monroe Nguyen

 

At the time of this post, Tila had raised $790 of her $5,000 goal. I was going to donate to the cause, but then I realized that I’m still a chump who shops at Wal-Mart, and I’m going to use that money to start shopping at Target instead. But don’t worry, Tila! Once I have my $4,500-a-month apartment completely furnished, you are at the top of my charitable donations list!



web analytics


  • Bruja

    So, now she resorts to begging to take care of her kid- on top of all of her other antics?

    Classless piece of shit.

    • ren24

      Aw! I love your new profile picture Bruja.

      • Bruja

        Thank you 🙂

        Long live Jareth!!

    • Regina

      I was just about to say – loving the profile change. I’m so sad about David Bowie.
      The Goblin King was literally my sexual awakening. That bulge. Those teeth. (I really like his teeth for some reason haha) 😛

      • Bruja

        It was always his eyes for me.

  • Chewy

    I’m not sure who is sicker, her or duggar

    • Bruja

      THIS!!!!

  • gimme gimme attitude

    I think there are way too many people abusing the Go Fund Me… Smh…. Seems like most people have one nowadays. I’ve seen people have them so they can take their healthy child to Disneyland. So many people nowadays have the I don’t have to work for anything, gimme gimme attitude! I’m so sick of it! I’m 39 years old, a Mother of a 19 and 16 year old, and have never asked strangers for money. My husband and I work hard for everything we have and if we can’t afford something we save. This chick needs to get a clue!!

    • savannah

      Agree..this girl on my Facebook was fundraising to take a trip to Spain after college..here’s an idea-get a job right? Lol

    • MsAwesomePants

      Yep, guy on Facebook started one because he was “destitute and divorcing.” Except he’s got a nice pension, so it’s not like he’s broke.

      People have no shame in asking people for money.

      • Guest

        I knew someone who started a Gofundme page to help with funeral expenses for a little girl who was beaten to death by their son. Well, they now drive a brand new 2015 car. It’s very sad.

        • MsAwesomePants

          That infuriates me and makes me sad, all at the same time.

  • guest

    Dear Tila Tequila…you need to get back on the crazy bus (take Farrah Abraham with you) and drive somewhere far far far away, and don’t ever come back!

  • savannah

    Her poor baby needs to be taken away. Seriously

    • Jane

      Don’t worry it’s only a matter of time. Tila can never keep her sh*t together for very long.

  • Stacy

    Um…get a cheaper apartment and buy some second hand furniture. Seriously? I think she needs serious help. She doesn’t make any sense half the time.

  • Ella

    Wait wait wait. She wants money, because she can’t take care of her and her baby on a one person income? This can’t be real right? I’m genuinely worried for her baby. Who knows what she is capable of?

  • Harper

    Hold up, this b- is how old? 34? She has no furniture after doing multiple reality shows and she wants us peons to give up our hard earned cash so she can go on a shopping spree at Target? Sounds like a 34 year old with no belongings and not that much money doesn’t have a clue as to how to properly manage her money. Why should people hand their money over to someone who is reckless with their cash?

    You know I sat in front of a computer for 8 hours today pushing medical claims through. I do that M-F which means I get to miss my kids growing up. That money that I earned is going for MY family. I also have rent, groceries, utilities, insurance, 2 car payments, retirement, preschool tuition, after school care for my other child and medical bills for my husband. Do you see me setting up a GoFundMe page? No!

    Tila, it’s called downsizing. Move into a smaller place in a community that doesn’t charge you $4500 per month to rent. Your child has a father out there SOMEWHERE. Go after him for child support. Get a job somewhere that pays you a decent wage.

    • Harper

      …..oh and I also refuse to give money to little punks who think it’s all good to dress up like slutty nazis. Drop the Hitler gear and you might actually find yourself some sucker to give you a few bucks.

  • Jane

    it can sometimes be very tough taking care of 2 people with only a 1 person income.

    Oh please. Tila Tequila is definitely not an average struggling single mom. She runs a website, sells her own merchandise, and probably still gets royalties from her pornos. Anyone who is stupid enough to consider donating ought to know that their money won’t be going to a Target shopping spree but will probably go straight up Tila Tequila’s nose.

  • Drea

    Ummm… You know you’re not white, right?

  • Bailey

    Complete disgrace to all Asians, or just even a human being.

    • Regina

      Human beings, for sure 🙁

  • DVM

    There’s this funny thing known as “living within your means”. Obviously Tila isn’t familiar with the concept, but then again most Go Fund Me people aren’t.

  • Raquizzle

    I think she’s manic depressive.

  • Ana

    Dear Tila.. Get a job.. Considering.. you will likely be more than able to make 4500 bucks Stripping or Hooking… If not that.. how about.. WAITRESS.

  • snarkysharky

    Notice she changed her style of writing real quick after the threat of losing money was there. Proof this loser is pretending to be mentally ill for attention. So pathetic. Isabella’s father is complete trash for abandoning that baby with a mother like Tila.

  • Nina

    ugh im gonna try and get her account suspended again lol the things she complains about like “shopping at walmart” is such a petty first world problem. like GTFO of here haha ppl live way worst than her

  • EbolaJenkins

    I would offer to take her into my large house, but I am still disgusted with the amount of beastiality she committed with hip-poppers and the amount of g0ri11a-mi1k she has had in-and-around her…