Before Senator Scott Brown was a political landscape-changing GOP Cinderella story, he was a hot-bodied undergrad at Boston University. He was soooooo hot in fact that Cosmopolitan magazine named him “America’s Sexiest Man” in 1982 when he was 22 years old and featured him in a nude centerfold spread!
First Sarah Palin and now this?!? Since when was the GOP sexy?!?
Cosmo‘s editor-in-chief Kate White says of the spread, “Obviously we know how to pick ’em. This particular bachelor has always had political ambitions and even admitted to being ‘a bit of a patriot’ when we interviewed him.”
I think Senator Brown needs to embrace this story and make a few changes:
1. In honor of his abtastic self and the very popular MTV reality show Jersey Shore, he should officially change his name to Alex “The Senatuation” Brown.”
2. His campaign slogan should be: “What can Brown do to you?”
3. Throw a nude GOP bash and call it the Repubican Party
4. To appeal to moderates, he could also use the slogan: Alex Brown – He’s left and right of center
5. Allow PETA to use this hairy photo in an ad campaign that will read: “Don’t go too fur.”
The starcasm research department is currently investigating whether or not this compromising (but flattering!) photo of her dad will have any impact on daughter Ayla Brown’s campaign for Presidency in 2016. We’ll keep you updated on the results.
